Jon Ronson Quotes

You simply cannot invent any conspiracy theory so ridiculous and obviously satirical that some people somewhere don't already believe it.

I never drink water. I'm afraid it will become habit-forming.

Fear was absolutely necessary. Without it, I would have been scared to death.

I hate taking myself seriously. It drives me crazy!

Fear is what makes comedy funny.

I do not believe in conspiracy theories.

Life is as horrifyingly frightening as it is hilarious.

To write an autobiography of Groucho Marx would be as asinine as to read an autobiography of Groucho Marx.

Some say they expect Illuminati take my body to sleep.

My fear in life, I don't have any kind of specifics like snakes or spiders or anything but I think if I was covered in buttermilk naked running down the street being chased by Gandalf, I'd say, or I don't know, I'm just making it up!

My first rule: I don't believe anything the government tells me.

My own luck has been curious all my literary life; I never could tell a lie that anyone would doubt, nor a truth that anybody would believe.

Credo quia absurdum – I believe because it is absurd.

The minute you celebrate narcissism, which on one hand is very complex, it's very ridiculous. You have to love oneself with humor.

Lord, lord, lord. Protect me from the consequences of the above prayer.

Fear is the destructive energy in man. It withers the mind, it distorts thought, it leads to all kinds of extraordinarily clever and subtle theories, absurd superstitions, dogmas, and beliefs.

I think ultimately, when you believe somebody is going through a situation and it's either awkward or ridiculous, but you believe it, that can be funny.

But when the thing that is scaring you is already Jesus, who are you supposed to pray to?

We are all hunting for rational reasons for believing in the absurd.

Living based in security is living based in fear.

A fear is just a lie that you've rehearsed so many times you believe it's true.

Sometimes you lie in bed at night, and you don't have a single thing to worry about...That always worries me!

I believe conspiracy theories are part of a larger conspiracy to distract us from the real conspiracy. String theory.

There is superstition in avoiding superstition.