Christopher Voss Quotes

The measure of a conversation is how much mutual recognition there is in it; how much shared there is in it. If you're talking about what's in your own head, or without thought to what people looking and listening will feel, you might as well be in a room talking to yourself.

The key to high-quality communication is trust, and it's hard to trust somebody that you don't know.

The great gift of conversation lies less in displaying it ourselves than in drawing it out of others. He who leaves your company pleased with himself and his own cleverness is perfectly well pleased with you.

If you want to be listened to, you should put in time listening.

When you're in a conversation, genuinely be in it. Stare people in their eyes. Know what you're talking about. Enjoy that moment.

There are many benefits to this process of listening. The first is that good listeners are created as people feel listened to. Listening is a reciprocal process - we become more attentive to others if they have attended to us.

When two people talk with mutual respect and listen with a real interest in understanding another point of view, when they try to put themselves in the place of another, to get inside their skin, they change the world, even if it is only by a minute amount, because they are establishing equality between two human beings.

When you know you haven't been connecting with, persuading, or getting through to someone, consciously pause before meeting them and say to yourself, 'During this conversation, I am committing to being present and to connecting.'

I always like to have some type of connection with the crowd.

Since appearance can't be peeled decisively from the reality of a thing, attunement is a living, dynamic relation with another being.

When we talked, I talked about me, you talked about you, when we should have talked about each other.

The more people see that they are being understood, they become more motivated to understand your point of view.

Real dialogue is where two or more people become willing to suspend their certainty in each other's presence.

The goal of effective communication should be for listeners to say, 'Me, too!' versus 'So what?'

A dialogue leads to connection, which leads to trust which leads to engagement

You should communicate with your other one. Understanding what they are on about is pretty key.

When I understand myself, I understand you, and out of that understanding comes love.

So when you are listening to somebody, completely, attentively, then you are listening not only to the words, but also to the feeling of what is being conveyed, to the whole of it, not part of it.

Connecting with Canadians isn't about what you say, it's about what you're listening to. It's about what you understand.

When you actually like each other, it translates to the music.

Talk to people in their own language. If you do it well, they'll say, 'God, he said exactly what I was thinking.' And when they begin to respect you, they'll follow you to the death.

When you meet people, show real appreciation, then genuine curiosity.

A good conversationalist is not one who remembers what was said, but says what someone wants to remember.

I want to keep an inner life alive and, with luck, somebody else's, too.

Someone once told me be interested, not interesting - that really clicked for me.