Douglas William Jerrold Quotes

It's great to be mean, it is, it's fun.

Satire is focused bitterness.

There must be more malice than love in the hearts of all wits.

Being mean just for being mean's sake isn't funny.

An insult is mean or unkind. Milton Berle called me the Sultan of Insult, and I was called the King of Insult. But the guy that gave me the best title - and I use it to this day - was Johnny Carson. He called me Mr. Warmth.

Anyone who hates children and animals can't be all bad.

If I were to insult people and mean it, that wouldn't be funny.

There's always someone out there being mean, but what upsets me is the spite. Why are you like that? Why are you so horrible?

I wonder why people are so hateful sometimes. I just don't get it.

My definition of evil is unfriendliness.

Spite is never lonely; envy always tags along.

People ask what I am really trying to do with humor. The answer is, "I'm getting even

In people's eyes I readPages of malice and sin.

My talent was the uncompromising ability to feel spite.

All traditions are also full of meanness for the sake of meanness.

I'm a bitter, sad, sour young man who makes a career out of hastling people with real careers.

A bad year and a bad month to all the backbiting bitches in the world!.

I hate that Alex [James] and Damon [Albarn]. I hope they catch AIDS and die.

You must be as thrilled as I am to meet again.Call it an act of extreme kindness that I requested your leg be bandaged up," she snaps. "I want to see you stand for your execution,and I won't have you dying from infection before I'm through with you." "Thanks.You're very kind.

Fear is a vile thing, and is at the bottom of almost every wrong and hatred of the world.

Hate is the father of all evil.

Sure. Knock yourself out. No, really. Hammer to the head, works every time.” Claire

I have a crazy sense of humor so if someone is just trying to be rude to me, or if you can tell that someone is angry for no reason, I like to entertain them.

...this is a hard world to be ludicrous in, with so many human beings so reluctant to laugh, so incapable of thought, so eager to believe and snarl and hate.

I hope your bacon burns.