Nelson DeMille Quotes

When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading.

I don't think I would describe my sense of humor. Doesn't sound like the kind of thing I'd do.

I've got the brain of a four year old. I'll bet he was glad to be rid of it.

I don't think comedy is necessarily an attack. It's finding humour in life. I don't think if you're making a joke about something you're automatically demeaning it.

You can be funny and say what you mean; these ideas are not mutually exclusive. Some of the best jokes came from people who meant it. See: Pryor, Bruce, Carlin, etc.

My voice is so high-pitched, only gay dogs can hear it.

I think you can tell the human condition better through comedy.

I like funny things, but I don't find myself particularly funny.

My way of joking is to tell the truth. That's the funniest joke in the world.

Wit is a weapon. Jokes are a masculine way of inflicting superiority. But humor is the pursuit of a gentle grin, usually in solitude.

I've always thought something that makes you laugh, it makes you laugh because there's a little bit of truth to it.

I have a very dark sense of humor.

My success comes in making fun of whatever you're doing. That's my way.

The English can be a very critical, unforgiving people, but criticism can be good. And this is a country that loves comedy.

My best jokes are so cheap. All I do is say things sarcastically.

I suppose I look for humor in most situations because it humanizes things; it makes a character much more three-dimensional if there's some kind of humor. Not necessarily laugh-out-loud type of stuff, just a sense that there is a humorous edge to things. I do like that.

Neil Hamburger writes such cutting jokes.

You shouldn't get too close to the truth, because then maybe you stop being funny.

I think my speeches are hilarious. I think I'm a natural comedian, but I like denying people the chance to laugh. I want to deny you the relief of the punchline.

We have a curious relationship with 'funny' in the U.K. We love to laugh, but we also think that making people laugh is just a little bit second-tier, especially in a literary context.

A lot of people don't think of my work as being all that funny, but I think it's hilarious!

People don't expect me to be as funny as I am.

The key to humor is often self-loathing or sarcasm. In a sense, that's how self-loathing is made palatable.

I have no agenda except to be funny. Neither I or the writers profess to offer any worldly wisdom.

Cool is the enemy of funny. You can't be cool and be funny at the same time. Only Eddie Murphy could do that.