Jarvis Cocker Quotes

I frequently meet ex-pupils who seem to think I didn't totally ruin their educations, so that's something.

I had a terrible education. I attended a school for emotionally disturbed teachers.

Well, I always say that the two things I was most disastrous at in my life, being a teenager and being a wife, were the two things I really wound up cashing in on when I was writing fluffy magazine pieces.

I'm very good at daydreaming. Ask any of my schoolteachers.

The wit makes fun of other persons; the satirist makes fun of the world; the humorist makes fun of himself, but in so doing, he identifies himself with people - that is, people everywhere, not for the purpose of taking them apart, but simply revealing their true nature.

Humorists can never start to take themselves seriously. It's literary suicide.

Advice is sometimes transmitted more successfully through a joke than grave teaching.

Comedy is the difference between how you see a person and how they see themselves.

I've told everyone that I grew old on 'Hee Haw,' but I could've grown old without it.

Silver Jews was always a coolection of old friends. Uncoolection.

In the school I went to, they asked a kid to prove the law of gravity and he threw the teacher out of the window.

If you hold on to things long enough, they get back into style. Like me.

Certainly the principal has to be bald. Certainly the school counselor has to be bald. And the driver's ed teacher. And maybe the wood-shop teacher. Mine was.

Cultures that don't laugh at themselves are cults.

In high school I was voted the girl most likely to become a nun. That may not be impressive to you, but it was quite an accomplishment at the Hebrew Academy.

It doesn't bother me when someone calls me a 'dumb blonde.' I'm neither dumb or blonde.

"It would seem that you have no useful skill or talent whatsoever" he said. "Have you thought of going into teaching?"

If you think I'm annoying and preachy now, you should have known me in grade school.

Well, if you're not a man in glasses standing in front of me with a tape recorder going like this, I can't see anything. But if you are, then I see perfectly well.

What happens, I think, is especially for comic effect you find something about yourself that you don't like. You exaggerate it, and it's funny.

Sometimes I'm scared of being Ozzy Osbourne. But it could have been worse. I could have been Sting.

I love hipsters! Yes, I think they're hilarious. The really cute ones try to look ugly just to prove "I can't be ugly." Normcore was kind of funny too.

As far as socially redeeming value, I hope I don't have any.

In a genre where most of the artists are one-hit wonders, I've been able to hang around longer than most "serious" acts. I pride myself in being a very talented leech.

You just can't take yourself too seriously, especially in comedy.