Chelsea Handler Quotes

When it comes to sex, at my age I like threesomes. In case one of us dies.

Sex and Love are two words that anyone can relate to, no matter the nationality or age.

As a test of the closeness of your relationship with the world, sex could never be a patch on being murdered. (That's when someone really does risk his life for you.)

Whatever you may look like, marry a man your own age - as your beauty fades, so will his eyesight.

Eros will have naked bodies; Friendship naked personalities.

I have to really enjoy someone's personality, not just their looks, before I'll kiss them.

As I sit here writing and look across the room at Janice, I keep thinking of the most heartbreaking question: which of us will go first?

Woman is very much more in contact with their feeling than a man. As a matter of fact, woman always teach to men how to love.

Your skin upon my skin, in the beating of our hearts, may the living let us in, before the dead tear us apart.

The truth is, I don't have a real clue what love is - how to find it, how to give it. Once upon a time I thought I knew.

Being in love, she concluded, is simply a presentation of our pasts to another individual, mostly packages so unwieldy that we can no longer manage the loosened strings alone.

This may be the age of automation, but love is still being made by hand.

Sex complicates, but it is the power of love to simplify.

Also I wanted to be able to love And we all know how that one goes, don't we? Slowly

Only in love is there trust - even the possibility of trust.

The pleasures of love are really quite wonderful--though I suspect they are rather a luxury and require a certain level of socioeconomic stability to be anything other than a mode of suffering.

Isn't falling in love always the fullest life?

Tis better to have love and lust Than to let our apparatus rust.

Love makes a good eye squint.

Let's face it: a date is a job-interview, that lasts all night. The only difference between a date and a job interview is: not many job-interviews is there a chance you'll end up naked at the end of it.

Love talks and talks. Lust is brief and to the point.

One of the things you realize about gettin older is that not everybody is goin to get older with you.

Without love, most of life remains concealed. Nothing is as fascinating as love, unfortunately.

There are a few things that can be done only by experiencing them. Love is one of them. There is no way to learn it; you have to do it. And by trial and error one learns.

When intimacy followed love in Italy there were no longer any vain pretensions between two lovers.