Wilson Mizner Quotes

The trouble with law is lawyers.

Lawyers are predators in grey worsted.

I've always had an affinity for lawyers. My dad is a lawyer. He's retired now. My brother is a lawyer. It's always been easy, the legalese.

The only people who benefit from lawsuits are lawyers. I think we made a couple of them rich.

Lawyers have to make a living, and can only do so by inducing people to believe that a straight line is crooked.

One lawyer will make work for another.

I am not afraid of lawyers as I used to be. They are lambs in wolves' clothing.

If the laws could speak for themselves, they would complain of the lawyers.

The practice of the law is a perfectly distinct art.

The more lawyers there are, the more people are out there to encourage others not to go to law school.

In the old days, you would have one lawyer to handle everything: speeding tickets, buying a house, contracts, litigation, real estate, copyrights, leasing, entertainment, intellectual property, forensic accounting, criminal offenses... the list goes on. Now, you have to have a separate lawyer for each one of those categories!

Nothing important is done in the United States without lawyers.

As for lawyers, it's more fun to play one than to be one.

America is the paradise of lawyers.

Thankfully, I am not a lawyer.

[Describing lawyers:] ... men who get their living intirely from the quarrils, follys, disputes and distresses of the Many, and the intricacy of our Laws.

I can't see that it's wrong to give him a little legal experience before he goes out to practice law.

A lawyer's either a social engineer or he's a parasite on society.

Lawyers are very important people to me.

I have a J.D., but I'm not a practicing attorney as far as entertainment law goes.

Virtually all big law firms have good to super-good lawyers. All big law firms don't have great litigators.

If you're in the business of law you're in the business of representation and precedent.

I think the legal profession is getting somewhat corrupted. When it comes to lawyers, I think it's kind of a Catch-22. On one hand, there's so much process, procedure and mess caused by the legal profession. But on the other hand, the only way to sort through all that process, procedure and mess is through the legal profession.

I see how attorneys are, and nobody is really on your side. It's about money. The attorney is not chasing after your money; he's chasing after his fee.

A lawyer is just like an attack dog, only without a conscience.