Jeffrey Bernard Quotes

The average celebrity meets, in one year, ten times the amount of people that the average person meets in his entire life.

Pubs are, disturbingly, where I hatch most of my best idea-sculptures: possibly it's something to do with the disinhibiting effects of alcohol, or maybe it's just having company to yack at.

I drink for the effect, because it loosens up the tongue a little bit.

I would love to have a drink with Meryl Streep or Prince. Those are my top two people I would love to talk to.

I drink to make other people interesting.

I wasn't around when Nic was playing Donald. I was around with Charlie.

Wine makes a man more pleased with himself; I do not say it makes him more pleasing to others.

a majority of those congregated in any Washington bar room.

I think I missed out on so many good experiences - maybe priceless experiences - playing with my friends when I was growing up.

You learn a lot about human nature in a bar.

Wine makes a man better pleased with himself. I do not say that it makes him more pleasing to others. Sometimes it does. But the danger is, that while a man grows better pleased with himself, he may be growing less pleasing to others. Wine gives a man nothing. It neither gives him knowledge nor wit; it only animates a man, and enables him to bring out what a dread of the company has presented.

I believe - to the best of my recollection, anyway - that I soon made the classic error of moving from margaritas to actual shots of straight tequila. It does make it easier to meet new people.

I have a thing that I do when I meet famous people where I try to play it really cool. Sometimes I pretend like I don't know them.I was at this party and James Bond was there. Daniel Craig, but I think he goes by James Bond. Anyway, my wife is in love with him. He was in a tuxedo looking all James Bondish.

There are certain things in life that you never forget. Things that dig deep, things that nest in the hadal zone.

Sex and a cocktail: they both lasted about as long, had the same effect, and amounted to about the same thing.

That is the remarkable thing about drinking: it brings people together so quickly, but between night and morning it sets an interval again of years.

I wish I were closer friends with Snoop Dogg.

Whisky, I find, helps clarity of thought. And reduces pain. It has the additional virtue of making you drunk or, if taken in sufficient quantity, very drunk.

The most starstruck I've been is when I met Sol Campbell when he was a Tottenham Hotspur player. I don't get starstruck by actors I work with, because you have some sort of relationship with them. Like, I worked with Tom Cruise [on Interview With The Vampire], so if I saw him again I'd speak to him as an actor. Although he might not be interested in talking to me.

The one conclusion I have reached is that whiskey is a great leveler. You might be a hotshot advertising executive or a lowly foundry worker, but if you cannot hold your drink, you are just a drunkard.

Another little drink wouldn't do us any harm.

I'm in the mood to get faded, so please bring your finest.

Once a human being has arrived on this earth, communication is the largest single factor determining what kinds of relationships he makes with others and what happens to him in the world about him.

A lady came up to me one day and said 'Sir! You are drunk', to which I replied 'I am drunk today madam, and tomorrow I shall be sober but you will still be ugly.

What I was actually trying to do in my early movies was show how people can meet other people and what they can do and what they can say to each other. That was the whole idea: two people getting acquainted.