John Mulaney Quotes

Procrastination is like a credit card: it's a lot of fun until you get the bill.

You must avoid sloth, that wicked siren.

I'll probably make loads of plans, and then just sit around on my bottom all day long and do nothing.

If I have to run, I'll do it, but I'd rather just sit back and pass it.

If somebody tells me to work or exercise, I go the other way. I'll come up with an excuse.

In terms of, like, instant relief, canceling plans is like heroin.

Homework is not an option. My bed is sending out serious nap rays. I can't help myself. The fluffy pillows and warm comforter are more powerful than I am. I have no choice but to snuggle under the covers.

One musts avoid that wicked temptress, Laziness.

Alas! this time is never the time for self-denial, it is always the next time. Abstinence is so much more pleasant to contemplate upon the other side of indulgence.

All we have is here and now. That's why procrastination feels so right. Procrastination isn't the problem, it's the solution.

If you keep asking me questions, I will continue to find excuses.

Better sit still, than rise to meet the devil.

The only way to avoid cannon-shot is to fall down. No such way to be freed from temptation as to keep low.

The reason of idleness and of crime is the deferring of our hopes. Whilst we are waiting, we beguile the time with jokes, with sleep, with eating, and with crimes.

Idle minds are the devil's research-and-development department.

To avoid doing anything, wait for the right circumstances.

What I need is a search engine that, no matter what I type in, comes back with GO BACK TO WORK.

I've avoided work all my life, you see. So, I'm like a bee. I go from flower to flower.

Don't yield to that alluring witch, laziness, or else be prepared to surrender all that you have won in your better moments.

We live in an age of 'urge'. We do nothing till somebody shoves us.

Do not call procrastination laziness. Call it fear.

Laziness in doing stupid things can be a great virtue.

Reluctance to begin is quick to befriend procrastination. . . .

Being busy is a form of laziness - lazy thinking and indiscriminate action. Being busy is most often used as a guise for avoiding the few critically important but uncomfortable actions.

Flee idleness... for no one is more exposed to such temptations than he who has nothing to do.