Haruki Murakami Quotes

I'm going to end a life that I thought could contain every kind of greatness but that in fact consisted only of my incapacity to really want to be great. Whenever I arrived at a certainty, I remembered that those with the greatest certainties are lunatics.

There are times I can't even figure myself out.

I was actually looking for answers where I kept asking myself - what am I doing?

What I've found at 48 years old is that there's nothing about me that's unique.

I know who I WAS when I got up this morning, but I think I must have been changed several times since then

I often think that at the center of me is a voice that at last did split, a house in my heart so invaded with other people and their speech, friends I believed I was devoted to, people whose lives I can simply guess at now, that it gives me the impression I am simply a collection of them, that they all existed for themselves, but had inadvertently formed me, then vanished. But, what: Should I have been expected to create my own self, out of nothing, out of thin, thin air and alone?

The deepest form of despair is to choose to be another than himself.

I feel like if I were to play the game completely and just get myself in a giant bottle of nail polish and put myself on display, I would feel like I had somehow cosmically lost. I feel like I'm taking a bunch of the ingredients and using some of them but not all of them and shuffling around and making people think I'm doing my job.

I felt like I was literally losing myself as being the joyful, spiritual, passionate, exciting woman that I naturally had been.

I don't know who I am. Or maybe I do know who I am and I just don't want to be her anymore.

There are some things about myself I can’t explain to anyone. There are some things I don’t understand at all. I can’t tell what I think about things or what I’m after. I don’t know what my strengths are or what I’m supposed to do about them. But if I start thinking about these things in too much detail the whole thing gets scary. And if I get scared I can only think about myself. I become really self-centered, and without meaning to, I hurt people. So I’m not such a wonderful human being.

All my life I've felt like somebody's wife, or somebody's mother or somebody's daughter. Even all the time we were together, I never knew who I was. And that's why I had to go away. And in California, I think I found myself.

Suddenly, I don't want to be this person anymore. I don't want to pretend I'm fooling the world when I'm not. I want someone else to have a plan for me, because I'm not doing a very good job myself.

Who am I? How did I come into the world? Why was I not consulted?

We do not know what we want and yet we are responsible for what we are - that is the fact.

If you ask me to play myself, I will not know what to do. I do not know who or what I am.

I think that half of us feel fraudulent in our lives anyway. There's that strange disconnect of not really knowing what we're doing sometimes, or why it matters. It's our existential crisis.

Bob Marley isn't my name. I don't even know my name yet.

I know that I am what I am. But I am not sure what I am.

I don't know what I am. And it's not important.

By the time I hit college, my secret shame was the reason I was an actor was my own words sort of dried up. I stopped writing. I stopped being able to form my own vision. That's actually what my first feature is about - looking back at two different selves.

I think the whole idea of me was that I wasn't going to be but that I wanted to be, desperately.

I am not a man. I am not a human being inside. I am not that. I don't know what I am, but I am not that.

I still don't know quite what I'm supposed to do or be.

I look at that person and I'm like, That's not Kelli White. That's not who I am, who I started out to be.