Deborah Tannen Quotes

Someone to tell it to is one of the fundamental needs of human beings.

If we dare to come closer to our fellow human beings, we will be able to see and understand them better.

We all need somebody to talk to. It would be good if we talked... not just pitter-patter, but real talk. We shouldn't be so afraid, because most people really like this contact; that you show you are vulnerable makes them free to be vulnerable.

But for me, it feels like a natural extension of what I've been doing: exploring relationships. Here you have two relationships and we can explore how difficult it is for people to be together.

The sweetest two words in any negotiation are actually, 'That's right.' Before you convince them to see what you're trying to accomplish, you have to say the things to them that will get them to say, 'That's right.'

Humans need to touch each other. We need to look at each other… We are human creatures, meant to be linked… So, yes, it's a gift for me to be able to look at somebody that I know or don't know, that I love or maybe not love, and to be able to connect.

I think that sharing experiences with a person is very valuable, because it allows you to have a bond to become closer.

There's something really comforting when you can truly connect with someone and be understood. Isn't that what we all want?

How else are we going to get anywhere if we can't talk to each other?

The more time you spend with somebody, the more your relationship grows.

Love is reaching out to try to get to the other person.

I really like feeling connected to people and feeling like I have a good, solid sense of empathy.

I've never been interested in things that sparkle and shine; I'm more interested in people.

I have found that no exertion of the legs can bring two minds much nearer to one another.

I have a big thing with eye contact, because I think as soon as you make eye contact with somebody, you see them, and they become valued and worthy.

The real business of life is trying to understand each other.

My job is about playing people. And I think once you lose touch with people, what do you play?

That's important, apologizing, listening, you know, I think the teens I speak with, most of them don't feel understood. They feel like they're being lectured to all the time.

It's human desire to be understood. And we always feel we're not understood.

Women's propensity to share confidences is universal. We confirm our reality by sharing.

For most women, the language of conversation is primarily a language of rapport: a way of establishing connections and negotiating relationships.

The intricacies, the problems, the trials and tribulations in relationships inspire me to give words to people's journeys.

Why is it so unutterably beneficial, the thought that someone besides myself knows me?

Relationships, it seems to me, are timeless. What works between two people always works; what doesn't is always troublesome. Over time, people learn - or not - how to negotiate what's difficult, but that doesn't mean the misfit has gone away entirely.

All training is negotiation, whether you're training dogs or spouses.