John Malkovich Quotes

What I find funny are peoples' blind spots. That's the funniest thing about anybody - when they just don't realize who they are. What's funny about seeing a hippo do ballet is it thinks it's a swan.

A sense of absurdity interferes with my efforts to appear venerable.

The learning and knowledge that we have, is, at the most, but little compared with that of which we are ignorant.

When you don't know that you don't know, it's a lot different than when you do know that you don't know.

I'm ridiculous, I'm ludicrous.

The range of what we think and do is limited by what we fail to notice. And because we fail to notice that we fail to notice, there is little we can do to change; until we notice how failing to notice shapes our thoughts and deeds.

Ignorance is not bliss - it is oblivion.

Satire is a sort of glass, wherein beholders do generally discover everybody’s face but their own.

… the most superlatively ridiculous thing

Not a single one of the cells that compose you knows who you are, or cares.

The animal is ignorant of the fact that he knows. The man is aware of the fact that he is ignorant.

Comedy is the difference between how you see a person and how they see themselves.

There are a lot of people who are considered 'camp' who have no idea how ridiculous they are.

I don't take myself seriously, because I'm obviously ludicrous.

It's my job to be ridiculous.

Usually, I'm so self-absorbed that my companion could be bleeding to death, and I might not notice.

You wouldn't know a clue if it danced in front of you with a T-Shirt that read 'I'm a clue

The only thing I can recommend at this stage is a sense of humor, an ability to see things in their ridiculous and absurd dimensions, to laugh at others and at ourselves, a sense of irony regarding everything that calls out for parody in this world. In other words, I can only recommend perspective and distance.

I have an apple that thinks its a pear. And a bun that thinks it’s a cat. And a lettuce that thinks its a lettuce." "It’s a clever lettuce, then." "Hardly," she said with a delicate snort. "Why would anything clever think it’s a lettuce?" "Even if it is a lettuce?" I asked. "Especially then," she said. "Bad enough to be a lettuce. How awful to think you are a lettuce too.

Do you remember when you told me I couldn't see myself clearly? You obviously have the same blindness

In fact, looking back, it seems to me that I was clueless until I was about 50-years-old.

Do not fear being ridiculous in relation to the ridiculous.

Yes, sir, thank you, sir, and I wouldn’t trust me one little inch, sir. I knows a bad one when I sees them. I have a mirror.

It never occurs to me that I'd be intimidating to anybody. Maybe I should consider that.

The folly of others is ever most ridiculous to those who are themselves most foolish.