George Carlin Quotes

Watch constantly against those things which are thought to be no temptations. The most poisonous serpents are found where the sweetest flowers grow. Cleopatra was poisoned by an asp that was brought to her in a basket of fair flowers. Sharp-edged tools, long handled, wound at last.

Ornament is but the guiled shore to a most dangerous sea.

Beware of a wolf in sheep's clothing.

Ma was using her for-company voice. Sweet on the outside but with an underlying death threat.

I speak of peace, while covert enmity under the smile of safety wounds the world

The worm is not to be trusted.

I have seen landscapes . . . which, under a particular light, make me feel that at any moment a giant might raise his head over the next ridge.

The weasel under the cocktail cabinet.

The poison dart hidden in the raisin tart.

There ought to be a man with a hammer behind the door of every happy man.

It is the enemy whom we do not suspect who is the most dangerous.

To fine folkes a little ill finely wrapt.

How could you beat an enemy you couldn't see?

It has long been my desire to be a little worm in the fair apple of Progress.

An evil for these times destined to move through the world in handsome human guise.

It is the greatest art of the devil to convince us he does not exist.

It is the calm and silent waters that drown you.

Global warming is a deadly threat precisely because it fails to trip the brain's alarm, leaving us soundly asleep in a burning bed.

You can be merry with the king, you can share a joke with him. But as Thomas More used to say, it's like sporting with a tamed lion. You tousle its mane and pull its ears, but all the time you're thinking, those claws, those claws, those claws.

I know better than most people that a criminal isn't always a thug in a black leather jacket with a big brand on his forehead to warn us away. Criminals sit next to us on the bus. They pack our groceries and cash our paychecks for us and teach our children. They look no different from you or me. And that's why they get away with it.

You don't mess with janitors, first of all, they have like 40 keys, and 1 is to a closet you don't want to be inside of.

Every expression of desired friendship has potential bite. Every smile reveals the teeth.

When beholding the tranquil beauty and brilliancy of the ocean’s skin, one forgets the tiger heart that pants beneath it; and would not willingly remember that this velvet paw but conceals a remorseless fang.

The most dangerous enemy in the world is the one you do not recognize.

...it is not the big events that hurt the most but rather the smallest questionable shift in tone at the end of a spoken word that can plow most deeply into the heart.