Dane Cook Quotes

We may all deserve hell, but some of us deserve it sooner than others.

What does God hate or punish except self-will? Let self-will cease, and there will be no hell. On what does that fire feed except on self-will?

The minister today preached about death and judgment, and what would become of those who behaved improperly - and somehow it scared me. He preached such an awful sermon I didn't think I should ever see you again until the Judgment Day. The subject of perdition seemed to please him somehow.

Be warned, therefore, that one does not go to hell to light a cigarette.

Oh, yes, thy sins Do run before thee to fetch fire from hell, To light thee thither.

If you had not committed great sins, God would not have sent a punishment like me upon you.

There is no body will go to hell for company.

The fear of Hell is a very powerful motivation.

In hell, sinners shall forever lay all the blame on their own wills. Hell is a rational torment by conscience.

A man can't be taken to hell, or sent to hell: you can only get there on your own steam.

Do this or you’ll burn in hell.

Live and die without prayer, and you will pray long enough when you get to hell.

Oh people, know that you have committed great sins. If you ask me what proof I have for these words, I say it is because I am the punishment of God. If you had not committed great sins, God would not have sent a punishment like me upon you!

If there are any souls in hell, it is because that is where they insist on being.

You can laugh your way into hell but not out.

That's my punishment in hell, shoveling horseshit.

Any god who can invent hell is no candidate for the Salvation Army

Criminals together. We're in hell, my little friend, and there's never any mistake there. People are not damned for nothing.

Almost every natural man that hears of hell, flatters himself that he shall escape it.

All errors are just ordinary, what extraordinary sin can you commit? All the sins have been committed already. You cannot find a new sin - it is very difficult, it is almost impossible to be original about sin. For millions of years people have committed everything that can be committed. To be thrown in hell for your sins. Now this is too much! you can throw a man into hell for five years, ten years, twenty years, fifty years. If a man has lived for seventy years you can throw him there for seventy years.and that is if you only believe in one life. It is good that they believe in one life.

Anyone who does anything for pleasure to indulge his selfish soul will surely burn in Hell.

Some ministers say, 'If you don't repent you'll die and go to a place the name of which I can't pronounce.' I can! You'll go to hell!

If we accept Heaven we shall not be able to retain even the smallest and most intimate souvenirs of Hell.