Chris Rock Quotes

A couple of years ago, leaving a restaurant near the Louvre, I held the door for a black man in a camel overcoat. Only as he passed did I realize it was the rapper Kanye West.

Parties are organised happiness but happiness is accidental. You can't legislate for it.

I ran into Woody Allen shooting a movie on my block. I can't believe this is my life!

I am a little in awe of Jeff Bridges. He's an actor I have admired for many years, and so I didn't know who I was going to get, in the sense that I didn't know what he was going to be like. And so I was pleasantly surprised that he is this kind of laid-back guy.

You have all this stuff going on in your head, like, 'I can't believe seven years has gone by, and I'm going to miss all these people.' And I'm like, 'Oh, by the way, Mick Jagger is to my right, and I just danced a waltz with him.' So there's that.

The hour of happiness which comes unexpectedly is the happiest.

I didn't expect this award [the 2008 MVP] would come to me. I'm surprised. I've played pretty well in other seasons. Our team hasn't been as good. Things just fell into place.

I was too crazy in my teenage years and I wasn't doing anything that made any sense.

What I want is for the two of us to meet somewhere by chance one day, like, passing on the street, or getting on the same bus.

I've actually been doing stand up for more than 20 years. I started in 1988. It's almost 30 years! Which is crazy.

Sometimes they're nothing, sometimes they're something, sometimes there's a connection that years later may show up. All of this information is useful.

Never would I have thought that I would meet Mick Jagger, much less be working on the same project.

One discovers a friend by chance, and cannot but feel regret that 20 or 30 years of life may have been spent without the least knowledge of him.

They're going to come to me and they're going to say numbers for three years and I'm going to use my division and if it sounds good when I hear it, then I'll take it. But I'm not going to say I'll take less (than the max) . . . Put it this way. I won't take a BMW from somebody when I know I can get a Maybach from somewhere else.

I am crazy about my own films. The films I've just made I'm crazy about them. But then I don't see them for many years. It's like when you get a new child you're very crazy about this child but then after a few years you're like, "what was its name again?"

Steve Kerr, now coaching Golden State after eight tumultuous and very inconsistent years at TNT.

I never thought I would meet Mariah Carey, but I really never thought I'd be introduced to her by Whitney Houston. She's like, "Hey, baby, this is Mariah." I'm like, "I know. I'm Darren. I don't know what I'm doing here."

When we were in Beijing, they were all "it's an honor, you're playing at the oldest rock club in Beijing". And I was all "oh crazy how old is it?" And then were all: "5 years old."Asia is just very different.

You know what's crazy about Yao? He speaks perfect English. A lot of people don't know that. Perfect English. When I was over there, I called him. He's like, 'Whassup big fella?' Perfect English!

Whitney Houston came in. Someone dared me to do "the Gap act" on her. You know, the Gap act. So I went up to her like I didn't know who she was, and I said, 'Hi, I just wanted to let you know about our sale items and make sure to check out our new colors'. She looked at me like I was crazy.

Happiness is being stuck in an elevator and discovering the ravishing blonde with you is a liquor salesman with a case of samples.

You could feel the place going crazy because we hadn't been on stage together for maybe 35 years and the audience could just feel us in the darkness come on and they went nuts. It made the little hairs stand up on the back of my neck and we sang Sit on My Face, which I thought was wonderfully appropriate for George's memorial, and then we bowed and we showed our bare asses.

By the way, my name's Rose Hathaway. I'm seventeen years old, training to protect and kill vampires, in love with a completely unsuitable guy, and have a best friend whose weird magic could drive her crazy. Hey, no one said high school was easy.

Brad Wright, who created Grant MacLaren, had me in mind. We'd actually worked together 20 years ago. He wrote an episode of The Outer Limits that I was in in '96 or '95? So we'd been aware of each other for years. I'd lived in Vancouver off and on, where he's based. And it just came to me, and I'm always looking for something different. Perception was a different show than Will & Grace.