Peter Cook Quotes

We had gay burglars the other night. They broke in and rearranged the furniture.

I do get freaked out sometimes. I have kids hop my fence, get into my back yard, and just start screaming at me.

If you try to break into my house, you will be severely lacerated and possibly electrocuted, and I'm fine with that. Because if you're breaking into my house, you're on your own.

I've been in places that have been robbed.

We knew the front door was always left open, but we broke in just to keep in practice. Doxy turned all the Washburn family photos to the wall so there wouldn't be any witnesses.

Some people grab my hair and pull it out. People write on my jeans when I'm on stage. They write on my boots - their phone number, name or whatever.

The fear of burglars is not only the fear of being robbed, but also the fear of a sudden and unexpected clutch out of the darkness.

You are a pest, by the very nature of that camera in your hand.

I used to like to break into other people's houses and sit in their rooms. I found it very comforting to be in someone's empty house.

One time, a burglar came to my apartment, so we called the police. My son was here, so I think they left before they tried to steal something. So the police come to my apartment, and they say, 'Oh my God, did they steal everything?' I was like, 'No, it was like that!'

I got very cross with the term, kitchen sink. It just meant that you invaded different kinds of houses, where it was very difficult to avoid kitchen sink.

I had a stalker break into my house a couple times. They didn't leave any fingerprints or take anything - I was being followed.

We have a lot of guests who are trying to take over the house and the owner of the house doesn't like it.

Our reasons for criminalising squatting are crystal clear - we want to protect the rights of regular hard-working homeowners against the damage squatters can inflict on their homes, and the distress this causes in their lives.

I remember, this one time, one of my best friends was living with us for a little while, this place we were renovating. We got back, we'd been cleared out. The place had been robbed. They must have backed up trucks to get the appliances. And our buddy was still sleeping.

When a crowd rushes into your house without declaring its intention, it is, by definition, an invasion.

Some fan literally broke into my house. He literally came in and said, 'I'm a huge fan. I brought you food.' He brought me three boxes of noodles.

The difference between theft and destruction is often a few keystrokes.

I've never been robbed in person, but I've gotten my car broken into a couple of times.

Jamming a coin into a monopoly newspaper box or liberating a billboard in the middle of the night can be a rather honest and joyful thing to do.

Last night somebody broke into my apartment and replaced everything with exact duplicates... When I pointed it out to my roommate, he said, "Do I know you?

He sounded harassed more than anything else, like mass home invasion was just something standing between him and morning coffee.

Someone creeping into his yard in the dead of night? More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering somewhere, covered in potato peelings.

Sometimes, you've got to be in a place. You're just another guy. You can just blend in. I live out in the wilds of nowhere, out in Jersey. Even there, there's sometimes problems. College students like journey out there and show up at 11 o'clock at night, on my porch, looking into the door not saying anything. My wife and I are sitting there; it's really creepy.

I wonder how well she sleeps at night, and what kind of dreams she has. I wish I could step into them like she steps into mine.