Gabriel Iglesias Quotes

Wine is wont to show the mind of man.

Alcohol, taken in sufficient quantities, may produce all the effects of drunkenness.

A single glass of champagne imparts a feeling of exhilaration. The nerves are braced: the imagination is agreeably stirred; the wits become more nimble. A bottle produces the opposite effect.

Sometimes people go into my business because they like to drink, which - that's insane.

I've never been drunk, but often I've been overserved.

"What's so unpleasant about being drunk?" "Ask a glass of water."

The man that isn't jolly after drinking is just a drivelling idiot, to my thinking.

Drinking more often brings out the best in the good than the worst in the bad.

Drink reacts on its practitioners in conflicting ways. One brave can knock off a quart of Scotch and look and act as sober as Herbert Hoover. Another, after three Martinis, makes two-cushion carroms off the chaise lounge as he attempts to negotiate the bathroom.

Macduff: What three things does drink especially provoke? Porter: Marry, sir, nose-painting, sleep, and urine.

I was a little drunk. Not drunk in any positive sense but just enough to be careless.

When I'm drinking around people, I tend to get silly or pugnacious or wild, which can cause problems.

If I was drunk, I wouldn’t be here at all. And really, this is pretty good for four White Russians.” “White what?” I almost sat down but was afraid the chair might dematerialize beneath me. “It’s a drink,” he said. “You’d think I wouldn’t be into something named that—you know, considering my own personal experience with Russians. But they’re surprisingly delicious. The drinks, not real Russians.

Olivia: What's a drunken man like, fool? Feste: Like a drowned man, a fool, and a madman: one draught above heat makes him a fool; the second mads him; and a third drowns him.

Drink, sir, is a great provoker of three things . . . nose-painting, sleep, and urine. Lechery, sir, it provokes, and unprovokes; it provokes the desire, but it takes away the performance.

We call it drunk philosophy. You have a few beers and you become a lot smarter.

There is drinking in lots of the songs because there is drinking in life. Drinking stimulates the imagination.

One more drink and I'd have been under the host.

I try to convince myself that it's the alcohol talking. But alcohol can't talk. It just sits there. It can't even get itself out of the bottle.

You want ME in the ring? Now I know you've been drinking

People who are strangers to liquor are incapable of talking about literature.

If you decide on having an alcoholic at your party, make sure it's a large gathering. This way, until the alcoholic begins removing their clothes or dangling the cat out the window, they can sort of blend in. An alcoholic at a small gathering is called an intervention.

Maybe she was drunk - the woman never could drink. One little sniff of tequila and she was off into some blonde la-la land.

I don't think I've drunk enough beer to understand that.

No nation is drunken where wine is cheap.