Yoko Ono Quotes

I wonder why men can get serious at all. They have this delicate long thing hanging outside their bodies, which goes up and down by its own will. First of all, having it outside your body is terribly dangerous. If I were a man I would have a fantastic castration complex to the point that I wouldn't be able to do a thing. Second, the inconsistency of it, like carrying a chance time alarm or something. If I were a man I would always be laughing at myself.

Boys are beyond the range of anybody's sure understanding, at least when they are between the ages of 18 months and 90 years.

Women cry. Men laugh. Whiners moan. Men laugh. Wimps complain. Men laugh.

I know guys. I know the way they think.

I understand men much better than most women I know.

I am one of the few men honest enough to say they do not understand women.

Guys are very simple.

Guys do not have a genetic blueprint that allows them to understand or love sports.

I like men. I like the sound of their voices, the way they think. They're more sensitive than women. With a woman, everything is either this or that, black or white. But a man can see shades of gray. That's what I call being sensitive.

I'm not really a relationship expert but... I'm an expert on manhood and what men think.

Aggression is part of the masculine design, we are hardwired for it.... Little girls do not invent games where large numbers of people die, where bloodshed is a prerequisite for having fun. Hockey, for example, was not a feminine creation. Nor was boxing. A boy wants to attack something -- and so does a man, even if it's only a little white ball on a tee.

I can't speak for boys because I'm not one! But I just imagine they think differently.

I guess I just do being a man different than some.

Working with guys allowed me to at least understand guys in a way that I could then say to women, 'Look, here's what I've learned about men.'

Chaplin and Keaton are still the best. They know that there is nothing more serious than laughter, an art demanding infinite work, and that as long as the world revolves, making others laugh is the most splendid of activities.

Male urination really is a kind of accomplishment, an arc of transcendance. A woman merely waters the ground she stands on.

The male cannot bear very much humiliation; and he really cannot bear it, it obliterates him.

I didn't answer, but, please - nothing is obvious with boys. For such simple creatures, they are quite baffling.

Men are much simpler mechanisms than women. Nothing changes them ...even when they have a midlife crisis, they do it in a mindless way... that's why I think we should let men go off and have affairs and drive fast cars and dream of being virile - and we should run the world.

I came from a generation where women were almost deified, and like Groucho Marx's line, "I wouldn't want to be a member of a club that would have me as a member", I thought, "I wouldn't want to sleep with a woman who would sleep with me!" It took me a long time to work my way through that.

The healthiest and holiest people are the people who laugh at themselves the most. Failure helps us take God more seriously and ourselves less seriously.

as all women know, there are really no men at all. There are grown-up boys, and middle-aged boys, and elderly boys, and even sometimes very old boys. But the essential difference is simply exterior. Your man is always a boy.

I used to take myself very seriously, now it's all just funny. You gotta laugh at yourself. You know, most of the time when something's a big deal for us, it's only become a big deal in the space between our ears.

A man would never get the notion of writing a book on the peculiar situation of the human male.

I know I have a fairly strong feminine side. I find myself really distanced from male behavior.