Wallace Shawn Quotes

If I'm not complaining, I'm not having a good time, hah hah!

I am so clever that sometimes I don't understand a single word of what I am saying.

Some are blessed with musical ability, others with good looks. Myself, I was blessed with modesty.

I value comedy. I value somebody who can be funny.

I talked about becoming stupid, but I've always been stupid. Fortunately I've been just smart enough to realize that I'm stupid.

The reason I wrote 'You Suck' was that I so enjoyed spending time with Tommy and Jody.

You have to be highly intelligent to get away with a dumb joke. That takes a pretty smart fella.

Life is funny and it is interesting how we make it as serious as possible.

I like the irony in my work.

What I like best is a book that's at least funny once in a while. What really knocks me out is a book that, when you're all done reading it, you wish the author that wrote it was a terrific friend of yours and you could call him up on the phone whenever you felt like it. That doesn't happen much, though.

I'm not offended by all the dumb blonde jokes because I know I'm not dumb... and I also know that I'm not blonde.

I'm not a real big wine drinker. I enjoy wine from a distance.

I am not shy about admitting my modest talents. For example, I am happy to admit that I am better than average at clever remarks, and I also have a flair for getting people to like me. But to be perfectly fair to myself, I am ever-ready to confess my shortcomings, too, and a quick round of soul-searching forced me to admit that I had never been any good at all at breathing water. As I hung there from the seat belt, dazed and watching the water pour in and swirl around my head, this began to seem like a very large character flaw.

I like hearing myself talk. It is one of my greatest pleasures. I often have long conversations all by myself. Sometimes I am so clever I don't understand a single word of what I am saying.

I have always been very fond of them (drama critics) . . . I think it is so frightfully clever of them to go night after night to the theatre and know so little about it.

The doctors are all agreed that I am suffering for want of society. Was never a case like it. First, I did not know that I was suffering at all. Secondly, as an Irishman might say, I had thought it was indigestion of the society I got.

I am in full possession of the amazing power of being sarcastic.

Your favorite virtue? An appreciation for irony.

Rule of thumb: if you think something is clever and sophisticated beware-it is probably self-indulgence.

My ass may be dumb, but I ain't no dumbass.

The things that I have apparently parodied I actually admire.

For the qualities of sheer wit and humor, Swift had no superior, ancient or modern.

I always appreciated my teachers. When I was 16, I gave them the greatest gift I could think of. I dropped out of school.

My wife could turn to me and she may say, 'Why do you love me?' And I can with all honesty look her in the eye and say, 'Because our pheromones matched our olfactory receptors.'

I travel light; as light, that is, as a man can travel who will still carry his body around because of its sentimental value.