Zach Galifianakis Quotes

Comforts and syphilis are the greatest enemies of mankind.

Responsible moral behavior is the first and best line of defense against AIDS, and is the only message we should send young people worldwide.

You can’t do anything about HIV-AIDS unless you are willing to talk about condoms.

She May Look Clean --But pick-ups, good-time girls and prostitutes Spread Syphilis and Gonorrhea You can't beat the Axis if you get VD

My comedy routines have always been about the health of the nation.

Within weeks of the Ebola hoax dying down, the guys at Health Africa International approached my friends George Weah, Mahamadou Diarra, and I to be part of the initiative in using various forms of communication to promote a Ebola prevention education programme.

Knowing your HIV status is such an easy thing to do, but again, we've created this stigma around even going to get tested.

When I went to school, sex education was mainly muttered warnings about the janitor.

I'm a big fan of reality shows. I thought the first one, Dukes of Hazzard, captured white people perfectly.

Herpes, AIDS, the Middle East at full throttle. Better check that sausage before you put it in the waffle.

I'd like to do a reality show with four white people...who are dropped off in a really bad black neighborhood. And the show would be called...Cracker Hunt.

I'm just happy our nations are on the same page of keeping shitty reality TV on the air. Small world!

Sport can be used for messaging, for example, making the connections between shin guards or a helmet that protects you, and protection in terms of HIV and AIDS. There has also been a very active program in Africa called 'Kick Polio out of Africa,' where soccer players have spoken out in terms of polio. There is also going to be a swim for malaria.

The only award I've been nominated for is a Scottish BAFTA. A Scottish BAFTA, it's like hearing that the animals have their own Olympics. You hear all this stuff about TV being faked. Of course it's faked. It's all faked. That documentary a couple of weeks ago about tribal warfare among monkeys, that was all filmed in a Yates wine lodge in Dundee. Comic Relief is faked. Everybody in Africa is fine.

You know, it's a very treatable disease. You shouldn't feel ashamed. But I'm afraid that's carried on very much so from the first days of AIDS, when it was basically a gay disease. And then, of course, you know, it affected everybody.

Gave a girl herpes in exchange for syphilis, put my LP on your Christmas gift list.

Recent surveys show 3 out of 10 men have a problem with premature ejaculation. The rest just didn't really think it was a problem!

Remember, if you smoke after sex you're doing it too fast.

The fear of AIDS imposes on an act whose ideal is an experience of pure presentness (and a creation of the future) a relation to the past to be ignored at one's peril. Sex no longer withdraws its partners, if only for a moment, from the social. It cannot be considered just a coupling; it is a chain, a chain of transmission, from the past.

When I was in high school the worst thing you could ever get was VD. Talk about the sniffles! I just want to meet an old-fashioned girl with gonorrhea.

It should not be an act of social disobedience to light a cigarette. Unless you're actually a doctor working at an incubator.

I read that MTV's Real World got 40,000 applications. That's amazing, such an even number. You would have thought it would be 40,008.

We have yet to beat our drums for birth control in the way we beat them for polio vaccine. We are still unable to put babies in the class of dangerous epidemics, even though this is the exact truth.

I have never lied to the people. I have always told them to love themselves, to move their body, and to watch their portions. I never jumped on any other bandwagons for stupid diets or shots or pills or anything. I'm very worried about our young people. And we need to take care of them, or they're not going to live as long as their parents. And this is really something very important to me.

If I could be the "condom queen" and get every young person who engaged in sex to use a condom in the United States, I would weara crown on my head with a condom on it! I would!