Tina Fey Quotes

I usually doze off between 7:30 and 9 p.m. while putting my baby to sleep. Then I suddenly wake up remembering I'm an adult with no bedtime. I spend the next four hours catching up on reading, e-mails, and other adult pursuits until I collapse for good until sunrise.

It's funny because everyone says you sleep when baby sleeps or you take a nap when baby takes a nap. That's true when you have one. When you have two, that is not true.

When I come home, it's about my kid, who needs to eat, needs to do homework, and needs to get to basketball. I don't have a lot of time to think about me.

I work, and then whenever I have any other time, I'm with my daughter, and then I go to sleep. I think you basically have to abandon the dreams of having any other adult activities in your life. You have to go to sleep whenever your child goes to sleep. That's basically how we're doing it.

It was very difficult when I was trying to figure out how to have a marriage and babies and do this at the same time. There was no handbook. You were making it up as you went along.

You cannot work and be at home with your child. But you want both.

It's so funny because as a parent you kind of just fall into your roles. Nate loves to change a diaper more than anybody should because he knows he's instantly solved something. I'm the one that's up all night and in the morning because I need barely any sleep.

I have earned the money and changed the nappies!

It's hard having kids because it's boring... It's just being with them on the floor while they be children. They read Clifford the Big Red Dog to you at a rate of 50 minutes a page, and you have to sit there and be horribly proud and bored at the same time.

Honestly, I don't remember the last time I had a dream. I don't really sleep often enough to be able to have any dreams.

The English expression 'to fall asleep' is apt because the transition between waking and sleeping is a gradual drop from one state of being into another: a giving up of full self-consciousness for unconsciousness or for the altered consciousness of dreams.

I am a night owl. I always have been... and I'd like to think I always will be, although surely having children will put a stop to my nightly affairs with myself.

It's not difficult to take care of a child; it's difficult to do anything else while taking care of a child. Trying to clean up the kitchen after you've had a baby is a nightmare because you have to wait for the baby to be asleep, you're exhausted, and you really don't want to clean up the kitchen now.

I go to sleep at night, and I feel like I just dreamed the whole day.

The needs of babies and toddlers were constant and drained the life out my sense of self and my family's relationship with each other.

The great thing about having a bunch of kids is they just remind you that you're the person who takes them to go poop!

Juggling work and parental responsibilities is no easy task, but I'm trying my best and just like everything else there are good days and there are bad days.

I've never been a hands-on dad. I'm not ashamed to admit it, but you can't run a restaurant and be home for tea at 4:30 and bath and change nappies.

I don't think a director should have any kids. I don't even think it's good for your physical health. Even guys in their 30s look exhausted because directors never get enough sleep. What I do is stressful enough.

I think if you are young and you have children, you still have so much to prove. When you have children later in life, you lose a bit of that urge for working.

The primary part of the weekend is centered around my children, and I have to be flexible. To call an audible is to be liquid enough to understand that at any given time you have to be a chauffeur or a chaperone, especially for my 12-year-old and whatever her plans are.

However pragmatic you are, it is very demanding being a new parent.

No one realizes how hard parenthood is. I am not saying going into the office is easy. It's not. But parenthood, as fun as it is, is not for the fainthearted.

I've got some kids out there; it's no secret. I've never been late on payments. I've handled it as best as I possibly can. There's no lawsuits. I try to stay on top of it.

I've always put out EPs because I had a kid and never had the time to tour and do what it takes to support a record.