Rodney Dangerfield Quotes

I'm glad that I never ended up killing myself, though I came close more times than I would like to admit.

Suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem.

Suicide is not a remedy.

Dwayne's bad chemicals made him take a loaded thirty-eight caliber revolver from under his pillow and stick it in his mouth. This was a tool whose only purpose was to make holes in human beings.

Act on your impulse, swallow the bottle, cut a little deeper, put the gun to your chest.

I mean, do you know what you get when you call a suicide hotline in New York city? A busy signal. Literally.

As the situation developed, the futility of attempting suicide in the middle of a hospital became apparent.

If you're suicidal, and you don't actually kill yourself, you become known as 'wry.

I couldn't commit suicide if my life depended on it.

I'm not disparaging suicides when I call them weak, I'm pointing out that anybody who would consider doing a thing like that needs help. I don't think a normal, mentally healthy person commits suicide.

Four years ago on this very day I tried to take my own life. And I said, "Zach, do it in front of your co-workers and end the misery." I don't know how many of you ever tried to jump off of a Pizza Hut, but you'll just get a sprained ankle out of the deal. Then you'll have to go back inside, and serve crazy bread.

It was not as easy to commit suicide as to contemplate it.

On average, since the urge to kill myself isn't so strong that I actually kill myself, the world is worth living in.

I had an inspiration once. I woke up one morning and I knew that it was my task to swallow fifty asprin.It was my task:my job for the day.-17 Girl Interrupted

I wanted to die. I had a panic attack.

Have you made any plans? Take an overdose, slash my wrists then hang myself. All those things together? It couldn't possibly be misconstrued as a cry for help.

If you're that depressed, reach out to someone. And remember, suicide is a permanent solution, to a temporary problem.

I tried to commit suicide one day. It was a very Woody Allen-type suicide. I turned on the gas and left all the windows open.

Someone bent on suicide won't have much sense of humor left.

Suicide: Don't knock it if you ain't tried it.

The only reason I didn't kill myself after I read the reviews of my first book was because we have two rivers in New York and I couldn't decide which one to jumo into.

I wanted to end my life so bad and was in my car ready to go down that ramp into the water, and I did go part way, but I stopped. I went again and stopped. I then got out of the car and stood by the car a nervous wreck.

I'm not glorifying it at all, I'm just basically telling you that sometimes I have suicidal thoughts. And maybe I should seek help, or maybe it's not that deep.

I can't even remember how many times I tried to kill myself.

For a while I was suicidal and I tried to kill myself. I think I should have died about four times.