Simon Rich Quotes

If God had wanted man to play soccer, he wouldn't have given us arms.

Religion has convinced us that there's something else entirely other than concerns about suffering. There's concerns about what God wants, there's concerns about what's going to happen in the afterlife.

I wonder: when a Jehovah's Witness dies and goes to Heaven, does God hide behind the door and pretend He's not home?

I believe that God made this wonderful universe and all that exists.

I think God has a tremendous sense of humor.

It doesn't seem to me that this fantastically marvelous universe, this tremendous range of time and space and different kinds of animals, and all the different planets, and all these atoms with all their motions, and so on, all this complicated thing can merely be a stage so that God can watch human beings struggle for good and evil — which is the view that religion has. The stage is too big for the drama.

God does not play dice.

Judaism is an intellectually based religion, and the single most important theme is that of study.

If God wanted us to fly, He would have given us tickets.

Time is not eternal but was created by God at the beginning.

God did not intend religion to be an exercise club.

My parents were atheists, strong atheists. I never got the answer 'God.'

Time was God's first creation.

I'm trying to throw a big broad net to try to get people interested in God and believe that He's for them and has a purpose.

God invented mankind because he loved silly stories.

My view is that science only has something to say about a very particular notion of God, which goes by the name of 'god of the gaps'.

I think science is about the search for God; it just comes at it from a different angle than religion.

Creation is absolute, 100 percent scientific proof that there was a Creator.

I'm Jewish. I don't work out. If God had wanted us to bend over, He would have put diamonds on the floor.

I think people need something to believe in, because they don't want to have control over their own lives. They'd rather be able to blame it on an unknown being, or a greater god, or a greater spirit of sorts. And I think it's easier for them to blame it on that.

God made the Idiot for practice, and then He made the School Board.

No doubt it is true that science cannot study God, but it hardly follows that God had to keep a safe distance from everything that scientists want to study.

Prayer is aligning ourselves with the purposes of God.

Koran says whoever believes in God in the last day shall be saved. It is a religion whose very name, Islam, comes from the word Shalom, which means peace. It's about establishing peace. We greet each other with peace be upon you, which the Jews do in greeting each other.

For me, I've always believed that there was a God. I've always believed that God created the heavens and earth - so, for me it's not a huge leap from there to intelligent design.