John G. Schmitz Quotes

I may be Irish, but I'm not stupid.

I'm half Jewish, half Scottish. It's hard for me to buy anything.

I want to see Brian Williams with no irony wearing a mustache.

It would be great if people could guess right off that I am Japanese-Finnish-American. But then I'd have to be wearing a kimono and pulling a reindeer.

It doesn't bother me when someone calls me a 'dumb blonde.' I'm neither dumb or blonde.

He rolled his eyes. "First, my Dad's Korean and my mom was Swedish. Second, I totally suck at math. I don't like cuckoo clocks or skiing or fancy chocolate either." I sputtered a laugh. "I think that's Swiss.

I'm Hispanic. I'm a Catholic. I believe in God. I believe in karma.

A lot people who hear that 'Go New York Go' assume that I must be black.

I would wear one of those plastic pocket protectors, but they make you look like a Republican.

I'm not the Asian kid of 'Riverdale;' I'm Reggie, and I just happen to be Chinese.

Everyone thinks I am Punjabi till I tell them my surname Chakraborty.

Since I worked with Prince, people assumed that I was black.

I'm half-Russian, half-Polish and all Jewish.

Irish people never think we're Irish. Americans think we're European or French.

I'm Italian, but I'm also a little Brazilian: Pirlonho, if you like.

I am not today, nor have I ever been a Jew, and as a matter of fact, I am uncircumcised.

My brother had a mustache, and when my brother had a mustache, it was cool. When I had a mustache, everyone just assumed I'm an immigrant and I don't speak English, which is fascinating. It was a fascinating thing to discover how I looked versus my brother with a mustache.

ridicule may be a shield, but it is not a weapon.

I would say I'm - in the show, I'm a cultural Catholic, which is what I was.

I always seem to be chosen to do very flattering things like the beard comb over or go to the bathroom with the door open on Sex and the City or be the guy people meow at in Super Troopers. It's great for self esteem.

His eldest sister (who modestly prefers to be identified here as a Tuckahoe homemaker) has asked me to describe him as looking like 'the blue-eyed Jewish-Irish Mohican scout who died in your arms at the roulette table at Monte Carlo.

I would like to break out of this "dark, brooding" image, cause I'm actually not like that at all. In Ireland, brooding is a term we use for hens. A brooding hen is supposed to lay eggs. Everytime somebody says "He's dark and brooding" I think: "He's about to lay an egg".

Dont take Portlandia too personally - Its just a stupid TV show

I was still rooting for Notre Dame.It's like there's the cultural Catholic experience.

I didn't know you were Catholic.