Amy Schumer Quotes

The biggest misconception people have about me is that I'm stupid.

I went to prep school, Eton and Oxford. When people hear that, they think they know you, and you think: 'No, you don't.'

When people assume that you're one way and you're not that way at all, it's hard.

Don't make an opinion on me if you don't know nothin' about me.

The mistake we make with many people is that we assume that we have the model. It is a type of condescension.

I was surprised by some of my French colleagues who immediately assumed that because I spoke English with an American accent, that, therefore, you must be a supporter of whoever is the current president of the United States. There seems to be this widespread feeling that, 'Oh, American accent - therefore, you like cowboy boots.'

Everyone thinks I'm Jewish. I'm not. Last year I got a call: "Happy Hanukkah." I said "Ma, I'm not Jewish."

That's how it goes within a family. You think you know each other so well, and so you don't bother hardly getting to know each other at all.

I have no idea what you just said, child,' Breeze said. 'So I'm simply going to pretend it was coherent, then move on.

How full of error is the judgment of mankind! They wonder at results when they are ignorant of the reasons

He had the vanity to believe men did not like him – while men simply did not know him.

He was ignorant, but a lot of people mistook ignorance for stupidity, and knowingness for intelligence.

The blind won't admit that I have eyes in my head, and the deaf say that I'm dumb.

We frequently are troublesome to others, when we think it impossible for us ever to be so.

If you don't listen to theology, that won't mean you have no ideas about God, it will mean you have a lot of wrong ones.

People have a preconceived notion about who I am and it's interesting. It's like picking who you want to win for the Oscars and not seeing the movie.

It would be easier for the Devil to go to church and cross himself with holy water than for these people to comprehend the ideas which are accepted facts to us today.

People just project their idea of my character on to me and they just seem to assume that I'm the same, when in reality I'm not.

One thing that irritates me is when people kind of make assumptions.

I feel like [throughout] my entire career and life, that I've been judged by people who really did not know me. But I definitely think that they probably were right to assume what they had assumed about me, because there was so little to go on out there. If you only see videos of me being crazy and hearing little things here and there, then obviously you're not going to have any idea who I really am.

There will always be people that will have assumptions about you, about my character, my personality, or that I might put on a show of being gay or something, or that I play up stereotypes or anything like that. It's always funny to me that those people are typically the people that know me the least.

It was a cookie, not a crack pipe.

Discover how little you know about the people you know.

You have attributed conditions to villainy that simply result from stupidity.

She dumb.” I sigh. “But she ain’t stupid.