Hornswoggle Quotes

I don't think that I'm as big as Lobo is, but if you could, like, transplant Mickey Rourke's body on my head, that would be just great.

I like cake, I swear a lot, and I hardly ever go to the hairdresser. I don't think I'm a movie star.

I tell people, if you really want me to look that good, why don't you cough up about $2 million more and hire Alec or Billy? If you want me to do it, this is what you get.

I don't care what you do - baseball or politics - George W. Bush is always going to be compared to his father. I just want it to be an easy answer in 50 years - Who was the better player, me, or my kids? I want it to be my kids.

What's it like being opposite Arnold Schwarzenegger? For me? Are you kidding? Maybe if I'm lucky, come up to his navel!

It's funny when people say you have sex appeal or call you the next Brad Pitt. I just laugh. I'm not that. I don't want to be that.

I thought I was God's gift to mankind and the greatest Irishman since George Best.

I'm not Brad Pitt or George Clooney. Those guys walk into a room and the room changes. I think there's something more... not average, but everyman about me.

I'm not Bill Gates. And I'm not Ted Turner.

You should see my baby pictures. My cheeks hung off my face like water balloons. You can imagine how often I was teased.

I was born with lots of deformities.

I'm not trying to be the next Joan Rivers.

I'm a pretty boring guy. Compared to Ashton Kutcher, I live a really boring existence.

I'm a pretty happy camper. Look a little more like Paul Newman, maybe. Haha.

I make Jessica Simpson look like a rock scientist.

I'm very, very amateur, which is funny because I'm not in the amateur leagues.

I ain't no icon. It's people like Patti LaBelle, somebody like that's an icon. I'm just Missy. I'm just crazy, that's all.

I'm no Zac Efron.

I'm the Christopher Biggins of reality TV.

Salman bhai is amazing, and he is one of the greats of our cinema, and I don't think I should be compared to Salman Khan.

I'm on the phone with this guy, and he says to me, 'People compare you to Bruce Springsteen. I don't think you've written a song as good as 'Dancing in the Dark' or 'I'm on Fire.'' And all I could think was, 'Me neither!'

In my life, I got a haircut junior year of college that was a real wash-'n-go type of situation. It was short. I had six or seven people say I looked just like Hugh Grant. And I was like, 'That's a man. So... that's not nice.'

When I really have it together, I think I successfully pull off looking like the exact middle point between Macklemore and Ron Howard, only with a much bigger forehead than either of them.

'Sit Here and Cry' was one of the first songs I wrote with that overdramatic sarcastic dry sense of humor, which is why the energy of the song doesn't necessarily reflect the subject matter.

I'm aware of this bearded lady being something that is not really common.