Josh Gondelman Quotes

My whole life, I've been telling jokes.

I know I can get laughs anywhere, in front of any crowd, if I'm given the chance.

The difference between you and the funny person on TV is that they acted on their ideas.

I realize how desperate it sounds for me, as a comedian, to ask you to laugh at my jokes.

I'm really bad at writing jokes.

I really love standup because it's something that I've been literally doing for 40 years, which means I'm a thousand years old.

Loads of blokes think they're funny, but it counts for nothing unless you get up and have a go.

I always knew I was quite good at getting laughs. At school, I loved having a ready audience if I made a cheeky remark.

I don't think anyone gets into comedy to host a baking show.

I'm still proud of a lot of my jokes when I started.

I started doing little amateur nights at the comedy club that was right next to the restaurant that I waitressed in when I was in university. I was probably 22 years old. I didn't do it with any intention of making a career out of it; I had just always valued comedy.

I decided one day to put on my tutu and jump on the coffee table and sing Aretha Franklin songs for the painters that were painting the house.

I never feel like it'll be something where like, 'Aha, I've got it. I'm funny for the rest of my life. I don't need to tell jokes anymore. I just am comedy.'

I love to smile. I love to laugh. I like to hear jokes. For instance, when I'm on the road, every night I watch 'Seinfeld.' I find it somewhere. I think it's so funny, and I watch the repeats over and over again.

I actually like to kid around and laugh, and on the court I do like to put on a show.

I have always wanted to do comedy.

I was the biggest class clown. I loved attention.

I'm a joke comic. I tell jokes.

The first obligation I have is to be funny; it's my first impulse and an instinct. I like being funny and finding the jokes.

Shall I crack any of those old jokes, master, At which the audience never fail to laugh?

When I go to karaoke, I'm still the worst guy there.

When a bad experience happens, you just chalk it up to the great fact that you just got five more jokes in the show.

The men loved jokes, though they had heard each one before. Jack's manner was persuasive; few of them had seen the old stories so well delivered. Jack himeself laughed a little, but he was able to see the effect his performance had on his audience. The noise of their laughter roared like the sea in his ears. He wanted it louder and louder; he wanted them to drown out the war with their laughter. If the could should loud enough, they might bring the world back to its senses; they might laugh loud enough to raise the dead.

I always had one goal, and that was to be a real funny stand-up comic, and that's pretty much what I'm doing. And everything else is kind of like gravy - TV, movies.

I think comedy is difficult, and I'm amazed so many people want to do it. I'll be buying jeans and somebody will say, "I'm a comedian" - the guy selling you the jeans. The desire to be a comedian is weird. I found it weird myself to want to be one; I was a schoolboy when I wanted to be one but I didn't know how to do it. That was 50 years ago, so times have changed greatly. There seems to be a long line of people desperate to do it and most of them are quite good.