James Thurber Quotes

I actually own a copy of my own book; that's how dedicated I am as an author.

Memory is the first casualty of middle age, if I remember correctly.

For most of my 20s, I looked like I was 12. Now that I'm pushing 40, I guess I look closer to... 15? It must be my macrobiotic diet. Oh, wait, except that I don't have one of those.

You know I used to be a heartthrob, and now I'm a coronary.

I am in the prime of my senility.

I always read. You know how sharks have to keep swimming or they die? I’m like that. If I stop reading, I die.

I was young and foolish then; now I am old and foolisher.

Some folks think I painted Lincoln from life, but I haven't been around that long. Not quite.

If my books had been any worse, I should not have been invited to Hollywood, and if they had been any better, I should not have come.

I think Rush have always had this reputation, particularly to non-fans, of being an ultra-serious and cerebral group when, in fact, the reverse is true. We don't take ourselves seriously at all. Sure, we take our music seriously, but that's altogether different.

I'm very pleased to be here. Let's face it, at my age I'm very pleased to be anywhere.

I'm the guy everybody wanted to live next door. They just didn't want me to be prime minister.

I have everything that I could possibly want in life, from a gorgeous granddaughter and a wonderful wife, brilliant students, the best job anyone could hope for, and about half of my hair. Not the half I would have kept, but no one consulted me.

Somebody once said I had a face for radio and a voice for newspapers.

I'm looking more like my dogs every day - it must be the shaggy fringe and the ears.

Men and women of western Sydney, it's appropriate, you apparently believe, that Australia's oldest surviving Prime Minister should make the concluding remarks in Australia's oldest surviving Government House. I hope the building's foundations are a bit more substantial than mine.

I love arguing. I always say that I'll never win a physical battle, but I can always win a mental battle. I mean, not really, because I never really argue with anyone.

My hairline is receding. So my days as a romantic lead - even though I've never had them - are behind me.

I'm not that nice - it's one of those things that reveals itself over time. You could talk to people who know me well; they could give you a laundry list. Except they probably wouldn't because they're petrified.

I've told everyone that I grew old on 'Hee Haw,' but I could've grown old without it.

I have been an author for 20 years and an ass for 55.

The taste for books was an early one. As a child he was sometimes found at midnight by a page still reading. They took his taper away, and he bred glow-worms to serve his purpose. They took the glow-worms away and he almost burnt the house down with a tinder.

Hopefully, one enhances [when growing older] his sense of humor. As he approaches 50, he'll need all the humor he can get.

I swear, sometimes I am convinced my life is just a series of sketches for America's Funniest Home Videos, minus all that pants-dropping business. Except my life really isn't all that funny if you think about it.

I'm surprised I still have so much hair after all the things I've done with it.