Louie Anderson Quotes

I would visit Vegas every year when I was a kid. Vegas, to a kid, is a playground, as much as it is to adults. I discovered the magic store in a hotel and would spend hours and hours in there.

Everyone in Senate is a hurdle, but everyone in there has children. Everyone in there has grandchildren. No one wants to see our kids continue to gain weight, have high blood pressure high cholesterol, diabetes, and depression.

My road trips have been to Vegas, but you know, what happens in Vegas stays in Vegas.

Sure, we loaned money to build hotels and casinos in Las Vegas. So what? Las Vegas borrowers were good customers.

I would like to expand my brand to include destinations in Vegas and also become an entertainment news correspondent.

I was booked into the Riviera Hotel in Las Vegas with three other comedians. We all were using the Riviera in-house shampoo, so we all had equal shine and bounce.

We can't stop here, this is bat country!

There is always a sneer in Las Vegas. The mountains around it sneer. The desert sneers. And arrogant in the middle of its wide valley, dominating those diligent sprawling suburbs, the downtown city sneers like anything.

Las Vegas looks the way you'd imagine heaven must look at night.

I have very bad posture.

Many people do not reach their eighties because they spend too much time in their forties.

I have seen her [Hillary Clinton] in several other situations where she didn't look healthy.

I feel bad because I haven't been able to say anything to the fans to let them know why I've been absent. I'm torn as I'm quite private. I'm not feeling well. I'm having some health issues. So please keep me in your prayers.

Except for an occasional heart attack I feel as young as I ever did.

A man of forty today has nothing to worry him but falling hair, inability to button the top button, failing vision, shortness of breath, a tendency of the collar to shut off all breathing, trembling of the kidneys to whatever tune the orchestra is playing, and a general sense of giddiness when the matter of rent is brought up. Forty is Life's Golden Age.

North Vegas is where you go if you're a hooker turning forty and the syndicate men on the strip decide you're no longer much good for business out there with the high rollers.

We met in an airport in Las Vegas, Harrison Ford and I, and he said, "I just finished a movie called 42. I play Branch Rickey. There's this kid in it playing Jackie Robinson. I think it's a pretty good movie."

Because I can go to Vegas and make the money I do, I'm able to spend a lot more time producing music that I love.

All I do is see all these incidents of [Hillary Clinton's] coughing all the time. I don't know what it is.

I don't think I've gone a day in my life without being inspired by Celine Dion. If you would've seen me at her concert in Las Vegas - like, I'm surprised I didn't get kicked out. I was literally sitting at the edge of my seat like the happiest girl in the entire universe.

My indigestion issues got gigantic and constant. And then I started thinking, I'm getting skinny. I dropped about 20 pounds in the blink of an eye. And then when you see it in the mirror, when all of a sudden, you pull your eyes down and the bottom of your eyes go yellow and jaundice sets in - then you know something's wrong.

Why can't you just get married in Las Vegas like normal Americans?

I worry about Las Vegas schools. I hear in math, they only teach them to count to 21.

Tonight, I would like to pay tribute to the greatest entertainer of all time, Mr. Elvis Presley. Elvis was Las Vegas. And if it wasn't for him, so many performers like myself would not have the chance to do what we do in this town. He really was the king.

A sick society must think much about politics, as a sick man must think much about his digestion.