Theo Von Quotes

I got heckled off stage in Western Australia at a music festival once.

When you get onstage, you can see everyone in the audience's face, down to the detail. You can see who may or may not be yawning.

When you screw up in the ring, it's so embarrassing. But the fans don't know you screwed up unless you act like you just made a mistake.

When you're onstage and you know you're bombing, that's very, very scary. Because you know you gotta keep going - you're bombing, but you can't stop.

You know the actor's nightmare is getting up onstage and not being prepared? I think the writer's nightmare is giving a reading and somebody standing up and saying, 'That's not your story.'

In eighth grade, when I was just the school weirdo, my drama teacher put me in a play, and we came up with a few comedy bits. And that very first reaction, for an audience of supportive middle schoolers, I put my head out and pretended I got scared by the audience, and ducked back in. They all went: 'Yeah! That's great!'

Not playing off of an audience is very challenging.

I don't really get embarrassed a lot because I feel like life goes on. I mean, I fell on stage one time; like, I tripped one time. My voice cracked... That's pretty embarrassing.

Writing humor in my column isn't as dangerous as performing it. If I fail in front of a live audience, the humiliation is as great as anything a human being can suffer.

I agreed to be on 'Strictly Come Dancing' without watching the show. I got talked into it by my manager. And my God, I was crap at it.

I am the type of person who relishes the chance to stand up and perform under pressure; I have had to do that my whole career.

If someone put a camera in my face now, when I am in student mode, I would get embarrassed, but when I am modelling, I play characters.

That's the thing: when I'm on stage, I don't care; there could be ten people there, there could be ten million people there. But if I'm offstage, I'm, like, counting the people. I know exactly where everyone's standing, how far they are from me.

I always wondered, like, you know how you go to the family barbecue, and your uncle is that funny guy that you laugh at because he's family? That's how I felt with 'Fighter and the Kid.' People would laugh at my stuff, but it was always tough for me to tell. I just needed to see if there was something going on.

One time I was performing so hard that I chipped my tooth on the microphone. For the rest of the show I was afraid to smile because I wasn't sure how much of my tooth was gone.

I feel like it's harder to perform in front of a smaller crowd sometimes still than it is a larger crowd.

I sat in on some songwriting classes, and it was really bloody hard, a lot of music theory. I'd be sitting there, and they'd be talking all this music theory, and the teacher would say, 'Let's ask our guest Jimmy what he thinks,' and I'd be sitting there thinking, 'Please don't ask me, please don't ask me.'

The Apollo Theatre was a difficult audience, and if they didn't like you, they would let you know. Luckily, they liked me.

If I've done a gig and at the end there are people waiting for autographs, they always seem nervous, but they probably don't realise that I'm more nervous than them. I get very embarrassed.

You can play a gig as a band and not know that they hated you; with standup, after every line, you know.

Some nights I'm funny with the between-song commentary, some nights I'm not. I have no control over this. I pace the stage a lot and struggle with the mic stand in a ridiculous way.

In WWE, they're real big on letting you sink or swim, and they let you go out there, and they're going to give you the stick and a live mic in front of a packed house and millions watching at home, and if you're not prepared for that moment, you're going to go down in flames.

Audiences sometimes emit these weird frequencies that make you think you've weirded them out.

I've been in front of 60,000 people. Then there are times I've been in front of less than 100. Every single show is going to be something you remember.

Falling in front of an audience - that's, like, my biggest fear.