Bill Maher Quotes

I think it does surprise me a bit when people have a very fixed idea of what I'm like, based upon the work that I do, which is something that is very separate.

I can be very polite, and I think that people can confuse that for all sorts of things... But I'll take that over people assuming that I'm smart just because I'm short and rude.

People think Paris [Hilton] is a ditzy blond, and I don't want to blow it for her, but she plays it really well. She knows exactly what she's doing. She's actually a pretty smart person. She's very cognizant of what she's doing, and she kind of plays that role, so people think she's some airhead but she's really not.

The diva tag just won't go away. I think that's because people want me to be like that. It makes it more interesting if I have thrown a phone at somebody or a water bottle. Sadly that's just not me.

People like to build their own story about my life. I don't know if it makes them feel better, or if it makes it okay for them to not like me, but the last thing I grew up as was rich.

You know, people think I named myself Meat Loaf, even though I didn't. And they think anyone who would name himself Meat Loaf couldn't have an IQ higher than four.

Maybe I'm misjudging people, but I feel like a lot of people still have an image of me in a bonnet at nine years old.

People think I'm thick because of the characters I play. I think I'm brighter than the characters. Well, I hope I am.

I guess people expect or figure me to be a lot of different things.

There was an article about me once, and the first line was, 'It's good to be a gangster.' Well, I'm not a gangster. I'm an actor.

I don't go out with the plan, 'Let me find a celebrity to go date.' That's just not something you do. I'm just looking for a good person, someone who can be my friend, and someone I can have fun with. She doesn't have to be a celebrity; she can be a regular chick. She's got to be smart, though. I like smart women.

The people who relate to Playboy, both readers and people who produce it, are not the way the critics think they are.

I think people underestimate because I'm the rap guy, I'm a crazy guy, screaming all the time. But that doesn't mean that I'm not intelligent.

I don't see the point of Twitter, so I write a lot of stuff to mess with people. But because I used to do dumb things on the court, people think I'm dumb in regular life. But once people meet me, they feel dumb themselves.

A lot of NFL guys are misunderstood.

People always meet me and go, 'You're so much cooler than I thought you'd be,' and I'm like, 'What did you expect me to be like?'

One time, I went to an audition, and I stated my name, and the lady was like, 'Oh, that name sounds really familiar. I've seen you on TMZ.' Her first perception of me was what she had heard.

People like to define you through what they've seen you do. There are aspects of my personality, I guess, that come through on-screen, but I don't sit around thinking, 'I've been a bumbling suitor all my life.'

People who think they know me would be surprised that my whole life doesn't revolve around sex.

Even today I meet people who think of me automatically as a tough, insensitive, coarse guy named Stanley Kowalski. They can't help it, but, it is troubling.

I would like to break out of this "dark, brooding" image, cause I'm actually not like that at all. In Ireland, brooding is a term we use for hens. A brooding hen is supposed to lay eggs. Everytime somebody says "He's dark and brooding" I think: "He's about to lay an egg".

When they saw me walking down the street smoking a cigar, they'd say, 'Hey, that 14-year-old kid may be going places.' Of course it's also a good prop on the stage ... When you can't think of what you're supposed to say next, you can puff on your cigar until you think of your next line.

When you see a blonde with great tits and a great ass, you say to yourself, 'Hey, she must be stupid or must have nothing else to offer', which maybe is the case many times. But then again there is the one that is as smart as her breasts look, great as her face looks... so people are shocked.

I can't do anything about how people who are all but completely unaware of my actual motivations and my actual thought process and my actual worldview, how they characterize me. There's not much I can do about it, except never say another word other than 'there's a ground ball to shortstop.' And I don't think that's going to happen.

I'm pretty private as a person - people generally think they know more about me than they do, because I gregariously advertise what I want known. So it pains me to think people might feel they have an insight into my personal matters, which they most certainly do not.