Umberto Eco Quotes

I write what I think is funny and I write from a sense of popping a balloon or a sense of injustice, whether it's about yourself, or whether it's about something else. It's my worldview; it doesn't mean that everybody has to agree with it.

Even though I am fantastic looking, I am still quite intelligent.

Do I catch flak because I'm so much smarter than everyone else? I don't know.

I do not look at myself every morning and think: 'Oh, my gosh, I am so perfect, so beautiful, so talented.' No, I like to make fun of myself.

Even people that I agree with can do something that would be a target for a bit of humor.

The poem 'What Teachers Make' is not without its detractors. This one person wrote to me and said: 'Gee, Mr. Mali. You don't possibly have a teacher-God complex, do you?' And that was the first time I'd ever heard of that expression. So, yeah, I'm sure I have a teacher-God complex.

I've learned to have a sense of humor about myself. Lord knows everyone else does!

Bob Dylan impresses me about as much as... well, I was gonna say a slug but I like slugs.

I don't think anyone's ever accused me of too much self-love.

I thought I would be governor of Massachusetts. I stood on a pile of my old albums and said, 'I'm the only one with a record to stand on.'

A little irreverence is always important to being a columnist. I try to do that.

It's dangerous talking about comedy; it gets to be very tedious and presumptuous.

I find it really appalling when people talk about comedy.

Comedy is hard. Any idiot can have an opinion.

People say, 'Since you got rich and famous, you've become insufferable.' I say, 'That's not true. I've always been insufferable.'

Obviously, I'm coordinated and whatnot.

Snowflakery is simply being human, which makes it a pretty flakey insult.

I've never been much drawn towards satire of any kind.

I love Charles Baudelaire. Him and Shakespeare are the only people I think are better than me.

Editorial pages all say, 'Well, the other guy has a point, too. It remains to be seen how this will come out. We certainly hope it comes out fine; blah, blah.' Cartoonists don't go that way. Our job is to stick out our tongues, to show a big raspberry to whatever pompous jerk happens to be mouthing off.

The musical is amazing. i mean,i don't throw around that word very often unless im talking about myself. Being humble is one of my many fine qualities. IGN Interview May 2009

You say you're sick and tired of hearing about me? I've got news for you: I'M sick and tired of hearing about me.

We were basically one and the same, although Jim Kirk was just about perfect, and, of course, I am perfect.

So I went to a club the other day, which is timely because my self esteem had been hovering right around 'normal' and I had been meaning to knock it down to negative 1000.

Yes, I am a narcissist. The best, too.