Tom Green Quotes

I just love pranks, man. They're great. I don't understand why people don't do 'em more often.

I've been doing pranks my whole life, so I guess I'm pretty good at it.

My agents love pranking me.

I was the class clown when I was a little young mustache.

Pranks vs school = pranks win all day.

A long time ago, in a country not so far away, I was eight years old, doing my best Darth Vader imitation.

Strength of 100 men? I'd probably just get mad and hurt somebody and end up in jail. I think invisibility would probably be the best thing. I could be like, 'You know what, let me just see what these folks are talking about over here.' Then you could sneak into Rams cheerleaders' locker room.

I know for a fact, obviously, because my kids grew up watching the show, that there are some things they are introduced to from 'The Simpsons', and then later in life they see the thing we're parodying. My kids had not seen 'Casablanca,' and we'd done parodies of 'Casablanca.'

When I was in school I used to prank my teachers all the time. But I was really, really nice. I love to make people laugh. And even in those pranks, the teachers would laugh most of the time.

I think comedians start off as pranksters or something.

I was born in Paris in the mid-1960s, and by the time I was 12 I had started going to the movies by myself. Most of the movies of that period never appealed to me. I didn't like the 'naturalism,' the sad or the 'down-to-earth' characters. What I wanted from film was fantasy, dreams, funny situations, extravagant decor - and beautiful women.

Elvis was, at least the times I was around him, Elvis was a practical joker. He was always, had some little mischievous something going.

I don't get on the phone and prank people and things like that on the phone with people, no.

I was bored at college, so I put $10 in a jukebox in this place where people played ping-pong and pool. I put in $10 of 'Jingle Bell Rock,' and this was back in the '90s, so it played 'Jingle Bell Rock,' like, 40 times in a row. It was just really fun to watch because after the fourth time, people were just losing-their-minds angry.

I still derive immense pleasure from remembering how many hod-carrying brickies were encouraged to put on lurex tights and mince up and down the high street, having been assured by know-it-alls like me that a smidgen of blusher really attracted the birds.

Penn & Teller stopped doing practical jokes, and the reason is we got much too good at it.

I'm not a big prank guy, because I don't like them done to me. I've been on movies sets where one guys goes into his trailer, and then people move the stairs, and he comes out of his trailer, and there's no stairs. That's not funny! I don't want to be that guy!

But there's a lot of 50's and a lot of boomers and a lot of kids in their 30's that grew up with us.

Most practical jokes, I'll feel too bad for the other person so I'll stop just before the punchline.

Life is too short not to do a little practical joking.

When kids run up to me and ask, 'What happened?' I just lean over and whisper, 'Cigarettes.' And once I was in a car and this girl at traffic lights was giving me the eye. She could only see my head, so I decided to do a 360 in the car seat to freak her out. Her face was like, 'Whoa, what is going on?' She sped off really quickly.

When I went into the computer shop to change my last laptop, the 19-year-old kid behind the counter looked at my six-year-old model and described it as 'vintage.' 'Vintage?' I wanted to scream. 'Son, I've got shirts older than you! I own underpants that have seen more of the world!'

I kid around a lot, but pranks are not my best strength!

I was always the class clown and got kicked out of class at least once a day for just being a goofball. Not suspended or anything, just sit outside and look at the tree on the bench. I got benched a lot. You keep one foot on the bench and try to get as far away as possible.

Kids are funny.