Sarah Silverman Quotes

When I was a young boy in San Francisco, I remember being sent home from playing with a friend, and I remember the mother saying, 'Tell Jeffrey to go home.' And I said to the girl, 'Why?' She goes, 'My mother says that you're the people who killed Christ.'

We are at fault for not slaying the Jews.

The kids didn't call me Amy Schumer; they called me Amy Jewmer. One summer, I'll never forget this, all the kids took turns throwing handfuls of pennies at me. I know, I was like, 'Excuse me - this is awesome!

I hope the Jews did kill Christ, I'd do it again in a second.

I was often looked at as a leper by kids at school because I was a Jehovah's Witness. They didn't like it - you were 'weird'. And on Saturday mornings, you'd be knocking at their doors. I remember standing there with my mum and dad, thinking, 'Oh my God, I know whose door this is, and I'll have to see them on Monday.' It was terrible.

I personally would not talk to a Jew for Jesus.

I don't like to publicly acknowledge being a Jew.

My childhood wasn't very happy. It's a long, grim story about being a Jew in a small southern town.

Since the conquest of Poland, 300,000 Jews in this land have been murdered in the most bestial manner. The German people are again sleeping on in obtuse, stupid sleep giving these fascist criminals the temerity and opportunity to continue to rage—and they are doing it…. Everyone is guilty, guilty, guilty!

I went to several public schools. I went to religious school. I was thrown out of Hebrew school, which was the final straw. They said, 'God doesn't like you anymore. Go eat pork.'

Anti-Semitism is a rotten thing. It's an ignorant, stupid, horrible thing. As is anti-Muslim feeling. They have to be together.

I grew up as one of the few Jews in Edison, and I had people tell me they hated me because of my religion.

The Jews' guilt of the crucifixion of Jesus consigned them to perpetual servitude, and, like Cain, they are to be wanderers and fugitives. The Jews will not dare to raise their necks, bowed under the yoke of perpetual slavery, against the reverence of the Christian faith.

A lot of subjects blend into the same thing: intolerance. When you're a little kid, you don't know that it's going to get better. Your life experience hasn't told you that. I want to protect those people. I want to send out a message and at least try to get that across.

Once people get hung up on theology, they've lost sanity forever. More people have been killed in the name of Jesus Christ than any other name in the history of the world.

You been hearing about how bad I am since you were a little kid with mess in your pants! Tonight, I'm gonna whip you till you cry like a baby.

Her heart went out to him with a stronger movement than ever, at the thought that people would blame him. Maggie hated blame; she had been blamed her whole life, and nothing had come of it but evil tempers.

I think the people can bash Catholics because they know Catholics won't kill them. Quite frankly, there's some religions out there, you bash and they're going to kill you.

Some people always assume that if you mention a problem, you caused it.

What shall we do with...the Jews?...I advise that all their prayer books and Talmudic writings...are to be taken from them.

The only reason that Jews are in pornography is that we think that Christ sucks. Catholicism sucks.

When I was a boy, we were the only Jewish family in a terribly anti-Semitic neighborhood. Those streets weren't any fun for us but our parents never found that out. In a way, you avoid telling your parents what happened to you during those days.

God was executed by people painfully like us, in a society very similar to our own ... by a corrupt church, a timid politician, and a fickle proletariat led by professional agitators.

More people have been killed in the name of God than for any other reason.

You will not become a saint through other people's sins.