Libba Bray Quotes

Reporters aren't actually people!

I'm not a comedian. I'm an actor who just happens to be funny on occasion.

You can't drown yourself in drink. I've tried, you float.

I used to be psychic, but I drank my way out of it.

I'm not a heavy drinker, I can sometimes go for hours without touching a drop.

I can go eight days without a drink—but who wants to be a camel.

I'm not a comedian.

I make jokes. That's what I do.

Over the years, I'd hear Jon Stewart disavow being a journalist and say, 'No, I'm a comedian.' I'd be like, 'Stop pretending. You know you're a journalist.'

Have you ever been to an AA meeting? No wonder these people are alcoholics - I've never needed a drink more badly in my life.

I am full of theories that are based on a very liquid foundation, because I used to be a drinker.

Many people die of thirst but the Irish are born with one.

I haven't had an alcoholic drink in 22 years, but when I did drink I'd go for either Canadian whisky or Budweiser. Sometimes both. For a long time I used to think "Hey you, get off the floor!" was my name.

I'm glad I don't have a drinking problem,' I confided, 'because I don't think I'd ever be able to quit.

Friend of mine just told me he used to be a bad alcoholic. I calmed him down. Told him he was a good alcoholic just a horrible drinker.

You ARE Zaphod Beeblebrox?' 'Yeah,' said Zaphod, 'but don't shout it out or they'll all want one.' 'THE Zaphod Beeblebrox?' 'No, just A Zaphod Beeblebrox, didn't you hear I come in six packs?' 'But sir,' it squealed, 'I just heard on the sub-ether radio report. It said you were dead...' 'Yeah, that's right, I just haven't stopped moving yet.

I don't like the word 'alcoholic'. I like to think of myself as an advanced drinker.

The kind of über-objective is to make people laugh. You always have to have that in the back of your mind, "Eh, I've got to figure out a way to make this funny."

I can drink like a fish, or at least, someone born with fetal alcohol syndrome.

Herman Cain said he wants people to know that there's more between his ears than pepperoni and pizza sauce. He says there's also a few napkins and crazy bread.

I don't have a drinking problem 'Cept when I can't get a drink.

Alcohol is an allergy of the body and an obsession of the mind.

A lot of people that are in the disease of drinking and using can be caught up on the denial aspect of it. I don't have a problem with that. I am very sensitive. I can just feel when things are getting out of control and I go, 'Oh, you have to deal with this. Because you can die.' I've always sort of had that.

I love wine, I love wine reps, I love everything about the drinking world. In fact, as a recovering alcoholic, I adore the drinking world. I can't participate in it any longer and the only thing I don't like are people who don't listen to the words that are coming out of someone else's mouth. Which is why I try very hard to listen to the words that are coming out of someone's mouth.

I drink when I want and how much I want. Sometimes I get in really bad states, but it doesn't cause me or anyone else any problems.