Terry Pratchett Quotes

The cat is the only non-gregarious domestic animal. It is retained by its extra-ordinary adhesion to the comforts of the house in which it is reared.

Cats are the slipperiest of domestic animals. Thousands of years of genetic coding has taught them to melt into azaleas, lie motionless behind garden gnomes, glide along fence tops, and slink under benches.

Cats were not, in her experience, an animal with much soul. Prosaic, practical little creatures as a general rule. It would suit her very well to be thought catlike.

Pike put down the cat. He slid from Pike's arms like molasses and puddled at his feet.

A kitten is so flexible that she is almost double; the hind parts are equivalent to another kitten with which the fore part plays. She does not discover that her tail belongs to her till you tread upon it.

Our garden was debated territory between five local cats, and we'd heard that the best way to keep other cats out of the garden was to have one yourself. A moment's rational thought here will spot the slight flaw in this reasoning.

I never thought of myself as explaining cats in general. I simply viewed the cats I have known as characters in my life, often as quirky and complex as the humans with whom I have spent time.

Leave a door open long enough, a cat will enter. Leave food, it will stay.

My cat did that the other day when he came in from the garden.

The trouble with cats is that they've got no tact.

Dogs seem more photogenic than cats. In photos most cats look like sociopaths.

I have spent too much of my life opening doors for cats—I once calculated that, since the dawn of civilization, nine hundred and seventy-eight man-centuries have been used up that way. I could show you figures.

Cats are sleek, cats are fast. Cats are... well... they aren’t mean their just wiley. And they will grab your attention in the most seductive way.

I've never understood why women love cats. Cats are independent, they don't listen, they don't come in when you call, they like to stay out all night, and when they're home they like to be left alone and sleep. In other words, every quality that women hate in a man, they love in a cat.

I do not know what the cat can have eaten. Usually I know exactly what the cat has eaten. Not only have I fed it to the cat, at the cat's insistence, but the cat has thrown it up on the rug, and someone has tracked it all over onto the other rug. I do not know why cats are such habitual vomiters. They do not seem to enjoy it, judging by the sounds they make while they are doing it. It's their nature. A dog is going to bark. A cat is going to vomit.

Cats have intercepted my footsteps at the ankle for so long that my gait, both at home and on tour, has been compared to that of a man wading through low surf.

I get asked a lot why cats mess outside the litter box. The simplest thing is if you have more than one cat and you have two litter boxes, don't put them right next to each other.

Why cat were given such terrific peripheral vision when they spend so much time looking down their noses is difficult to understand.

When I play with my cat, who knows whether I do not make her more sport than she makes me?

I would enjoy doing what cats do: singing, sleeping, and licking my nuts.

Persian pussy from over the sea demure and lazy and smug and fat none of your ribbons and bells for me ours is the zest of the alley cat

If cats looked like frogs we'd realize what nasty, cruel little bastards they are. Style. That's what people remember.

If I could read any person's mind, it would be my cat's.

When addressed, a Gentleman Cat does not move a muscle. He looks as if he hasn't heard.

Cats don't caress us-they caress themselves on us.