Roger Ebert Quotes

The Last Airbender is an agonizing experience in every category I can think of and others still waiting to be invented.

'High Stakes' was a very bad movie that I was cast in as a lead.

I would rather turn my head and cough than see any part of 'Patch Adams' again. The title of this movie should have been 'Punch Adams!'

'BloodRayne' was an abomination... It's a horrifying and preposterous movie.

Star Wars' was a sell-out from the start, and that is just about the only remarkable thing about this depressingly mediocre franchise.

'Man is an endangered species,' announces one of the titles at the beginning of the sci-fi lump 'Battlefield Earth.' And after about 20 minutes of this amateurish picture, extinction doesn't seem like such a bad idea.

I was persuaded to see 'The Muppets' by a friend, and I regretted it. A very boring hour and a half.

As for myself, I met with as much success as I ever could have wanted. In other words, I was enthusiastically run-down by every critic of the period.

Battlefield Earth is like taking a bus trip with someone who has needed a bath for a long time. It's not merely bad; it's unpleasant in a hostile way.

["Where the Buffalo Roam" is] horrible pile of crap. [Bill] Murray did a good job. But it was a bad script. You can't beat a bad script. It was just a horrible movie. A cartoon. But Bill Murray did a good job. We actually wrote and shot several different endings and beginnings and they all got cut out in the end. It was disappointing.

"Dirty Love" wasn't written and directed, it was committed. Here is a film so pitiful, it doesn't rise to the level of badness. It is hopelessly incompetent... I am not certain that anyone involved has ever seen a movie, or knows what one is.

A little bit of this town goes a very long way. After five days in Vegas you feel like you've been here for five years.

Dice Rules is one of the most appalling movies I have ever seen. It could not be more damaging to the career of Andrew Dice Clay if it had been made as a documentary by someone who hated him. The fact that Clay apparently thinks this movie is worth seeing is revealing and sad, indicating that he not only lacks a sense of humor, but also ordinary human decency.

Sometimes I criticize movies. It's not fun to watch a movie with me, because I'll go, "That was a really bad shot." My mom's like, "Shut up, Chloe, watch the film!"

From a purely tourist standpoint, Oxford is overpowering, being so replete with architecture and history and anecdote that the visitor's mind feels dribbling and helpless, as with an over-large mouthful of nougat.

Chin held high, Miss Ohio beamed at an imagined crowd. "I want to be a motivational speaker." "What are you going to motivate people to do?" Smile still in place, she cut her eyes at Adina. "You know. Motivational ... stuff.

After the bitching I'd done to Abe about going to remote, crappy places, I should have been excited about the prospect of going to Sin City.

Confession: When I went to see The Empire Strikes Back I found myself glancing at my watch. The Force is with us, indeed, and a lot of it is hot air. It's a measure of my mixed feelings about The Empire Strikes Back that I'm not at all sure that I understand the plot. The Empire Strikes Back is about as personal as a Christmas card from a bank.

Don't let failure or disappointment cut you off from God or make you think that the future is hopeless. When God closes one door, He often opens another door - if we seek it.

Here's one thing I never say anymore: These people can't be that stupid, can they?

When she kissed me, I had the feeling my brain was melting right through my body.

I was absorbing a sorry truth of show business - rejection is the norm and acceptance the oddity. I was learning to cut the tops off my highs and stay with the lows where the rejections and letdowns would be shallow.

I have often lost myself in the sea, ears full of newly cut flowers, tongue full of love and agony.

Jazz: Music invented for the torture of imbeciles.

To call "A Lot like Love" dead in the water is an insult to water.