Natasha Leggero Quotes

No one tells you that your life is effectively over when you have a child: that you're never going to draw another complacent breath again... or that whatever level of hypochondria and rage you'd learned to repress and live with is going to seem like the good old days.

Having a baby takes so much from you. It's the most glorious thing you'll ever do, but the aftermath is not so glorious!

Everybody always talks about it, about how you don't know love until you meet your baby, and you really feel that. There are no words. It was a really wonderful surprise. And there is no way to prepare yourself for the sleep deprivation and what comes with it.

Before you have a baby, friends tell you 'sleep now,' and you laugh because you don't think that all those stories could be true. But they are.

There is something about having babies in your 40s that is unique in both a humiliating and amazing way.

I felt this during the first few months of my motherhood. You lose who you are - you lose your identity - because when your baby comes, you give, give, give, and no one gives back, and you just wonder, 'Who am I?' 'What am I?' 'How do I live life now?' It's all for this baby.

Baby's room should be close enough to your room so that you can hear baby cry, unless you want to get some sleep, in which case baby's room should be in Peru.

There are moments when you love babies, and you're like, "God, they are the reason why we exist." Then they start crying, and you're like "God! Jesus!"

When you wake up one day and say, "You know what? I don't think I ever need to sleep or have sex again." Congratulations, you're ready (to have children).

I got introduced to audiobooks because of having a baby.

When you have the baby, there is no BlackBerry, no computer; you just have the baby on your stomach, and your heart is beating the same time as the baby's. It's very nice.

I knew it was going to be the most extraordinary thing in my life, but how powerful it is, you can never know until you have a baby.

People only talk about what a joyous experience it is, but there is terror: Your life, as you know it, is over. It's over the day that child is born. It's over, and something completely new starts.

You know, I have a kid on my own, and I know how busy it is, the first weeks and the first month.

Being a parent is not for the faint of heart. I may joke about knowing fear, but the fact is, the first time I ever knew real fear was the day Charlotte, my first child, was born. Suddenly there is someone in the world you care about more than anything.

New motherhood is such a vulnerable and powerful time, but it's also really hard.

Having an infant is stressful, and I know I won't get a lot of sleep initially, but it will be worth it.

It's intense having twins. There's no way to prepare for it, but it's been... the greatest thing to ever happen to me.

My point here, young couples, is that baby-having is extremely serious business, and you probably don't have the vaguest idea what you're doing, as is evidenced by the fact that you're reading a very sloppy and poorly researched book.

Everybody's trying to leave their mark on the world. That's why there's graffiti and babies.

There's a Drunk Midget in My House Ah, babies! They're more than just adorable little creatures on whom you can blame your farts. Like most people who have had one baby, I am an expert on everythiing and will tell you, unsolicited, how to raise your kid!

Kids are like heroin, a little heroin addiction. When it’s bad, you’ve never been so miserable, but when it’s good you’ve never been so high.

Nothing is more precious than your baby.

It's the most terrifying day of your life, the day the first one is born. Your life, as you know it, is gone. Never to return. But they learn how to walk, and they learn how to talk, and you want to be with them. And they turn out to be the most delightful people you'll ever meet in your life.

Babies are always more trouble than you thought and more wonderful.