Lenny Bruce Quotes

Man has his will, but woman has her way.

Throw a stick, and the servile dog wheezes and pants and shambles to bring it to you. Do the same before a cat, and he will eye you with coolly polite and somewhat bored amusement.

Women are the worst. They zero in on some guy.Oh boy, he's the one, gotta get me that one. So they do. Then they spend the rest of their time trying to figure out how to change him. Then if they manage it, they're not all that interested anymore, because guess what? He's not the one anymore.

Before marriage, a man will lie awake thinking about something you said; after marriage , he'll fall asleep before you finish saying it.

Men hate more steadily than they love.

If women are often frustrated because men do not respond to their troubles by offering matching troubles, men are often frustrated because women do.

Men are from Earth, women are from Earth. Deal with it.

Nice people don't necessarily fall in love with nice people.

After making love I said to my girl, "Was it good for you too?" And she said, "I don't think this was good for anybody."

Someone who wants to be with you, WILL be with you. End of story.

A hard headed woman, a soft hearted man, been the cause of trouble ever since the world began.

Woman is the Sunday of man: not his repose only, but his joy; the salt of his life.

No people find each other more absurd than lovers

I think there are plenty of men out there who are capable and accomplished in their own realm. You don't have to be in the same field. I've often been asked, "Didn't you want to get married?" And of course I wanted to get married, but you have to fall in love and want to marry a particular person. You don't get married in the abstract. So, although there were people I felt I might have married, it just never happened.

We love our lovin'....but not like we love our freedom.

Men know so little about us women. We've a weakness, it is true, for those who charm us, but we always come back to those who love us.

Ideally, both members of a couple in love free each other to new and different worlds.

I love you so much. I love you enough that I want to stay separate from you. You're an extraordinary man, Frank Wright. I could so easily lose myself in your world and never make a world of my own. And where would that leave us? We'd both be bored stupid.

A man loses his sense of direction after four drinks; a woman loses hers after four kisses.

Hogamus, higamous Man is polygamous Higamus, hogamous Woman monogamous.

No matter how much you love someone, you still want to have you own way.

A new survey reveals that women would rather give up sex than give up the remote control for the TV. Men, on the other hand, would be willing to have sex with the remote for the TV.

I always feel this pressure of being a strong and independent icon of womanhood, and without making it look my whole life is revolving around some guy. But loving someone, and being loved means so much to me. We always make fun of it and stuff. But isn't everything we do in life a way to be loved a little more?

Men learn to love the woman they are attracted to. Women learn to become attracted to the man they fall in love with.

Women without men are usually nervous. ... The important thing is to have a man, even if you just like him. Pleasing him, you will please yourself.