Mitchell Zuckoff Quotes

It is an impious act to violate or break with the teeth a leek or an onion. O holy nation! whose gods grow for them in the gardens. Every table abstains from animals that have wool. It is a crime there to kill a kid, but human flesh is lawful food.

Many people will find this book disrespectful. There is nothing amusing about being dead, they will say. Ah, but there is.

Larry David finds a way to make jokes about the Holocaust. It would never have occurred to me. And it was funny.

I can eat a man, but I'm not sure of the fiber content.

It's funny... you can make fun of AIDS or Haiti, but if you make fun of some starlet in Hollywood's looks? That's like the one thing... the line you are not to cross.

Cannibals are not vegetarians; they too are humanitarians.

I tried every diet in the book. I tried some that weren't in the book. I tried eating the book. It tasted better than most of the diets.

A good writer is not, per se, a good book critic. No more so than a good drunk is automatically a good bartender.

A bad book and good marketing won't work, the same way a good book and bad marketing will also not work. There is no choice in the matter that if you need to write a good book, you also need to have good marketing for it.

I'm not a fussy eater, but when I'm travelling, I try to stick to the same regime and just have my chicken and my mash and broccoli. Otherwise, you start eating all these funny delicacies, and it makes your tummy turn upside down.

He never commanded more than ten men in his life and he ate three of them.

Cannibals are not to be found in the wilds of America only, but are reveling on the blood of every living people

Cannibalism is horrible, but still, for the moment, we have to pretend not to see it.

They eat little flesh except human flesh

I like work that pushes the barrier of bad taste.

Very few people took sordid things and made comedies out of them.

'Sit Here and Cry' was one of the first songs I wrote with that overdramatic sarcastic dry sense of humor, which is why the energy of the song doesn't necessarily reflect the subject matter.

I didn't get into comedy to talk about violent death all the time.

In no religion is beef-eating a part of faith.

The way that the stories go in the Snicket books is just the way stories naturally go to me. They're full of misery, and yet the misery ends up being slightly hilarious. And in terms of the warnings on the back of the books, that really started as an honest assessment of their marketability.

next to it was a dvd called 'as i get laid dying,' which had a hospital scene on the front. it was like grey's anatomy, only with less grey and more anatomy.

I've never yet read a review of one of my own books that I couldn't have written much better myself.

Cannibalism to a certain moderate extent is practised among several of the primitive tribes in the Pacific, but it is upon the bodies of slain enemies alone; and horrible and fearful as the custom is, immeasurably as it is to be abhorred and condemned, still I assert that those who indulge in it are in other respects humane and virtuous.

In every civilized society there is found a race of men who retain the instincts of the aboriginal cannibal and live upon their fellow-men as a natural food.

I try to offset any tendency towards the macabre with humour. As I see it, this is a typically English form of humour. It's a piece with such jokes as the one about the man who was being led to the gallows to be hanged. He looked at the trap door in the gallows, which was flimsily constructed, and he asked in some alarm, 'I say, is that thing safe?