Bill Condon Quotes

I'm an actor, and when I close the door at home I'm kind of off-duty.

Sometimes I'm more true when I'm up onstage than I'm able to be in my regular life. It's not as exciting to be at home, but I've got to learn how to make that work, and then I will be an ordinary woman.

I live a dual life. On the red carpet, it's complete glam. But at home, I'm a jeans and T-shirt kind of girl. Simple can be beautiful.

I like to think that at the end of a show, you can just take your costume off and go to the pub.

You know, I think whatever a comic talks about onstage is all they talk about offstage.

I really enjoy playing a sex symbol, but it's not something I feel in real life. I'm much more of a natural girl at home.

I love being an entertainer - not really fond of being a celebrity.

I left school and couldn't find acting work, so I started going to clubs where you could do stand-up. I've always improvised, and stand-up was this great release. All of a sudden, it was just me and the audience.

When the camera is on, I am an actor; otherwise, I am an ordinary person.

My dad was a regular dad. At home, he wasn't Bonzo the animal. He was a very intellectual, quiet chap - not the beast we all know.

I consider myself not a celebrity. I'm a normal person that likes [doing] things on stage.

Ok so there's no TV shows, no movies going on fine, but I love going on stage and performing stand up so my situation is a little better than someone who's strictly just an actor or actress.

The first time I got on stage I was 10 years old and I did impressions. I did cartoon characters and I really got the bug for this life when I saw that people were laughing and saw the attention I was getting.

There's one theory that the funnier a comic is in his act, the more mind-numbingly boring he'll be when he's not holding a microphone.

I'm never home. I miss birthdays. I miss holidays. I miss anniversaries. I miss special moments. I'm not always there for important times, because I'm out on the road trying to make people laugh. I give up my privacy. I give up the ability to walk somewhere and relax.

The red lips are - I don't want to call them "armor," but they're the clothes of my character, and I'm in the business of entertainment. Wearing red lipstick helps get me into that world.

I'll no longer say that I have supernatural powers. I am an entertainer. I want to do a good show. My entire character has changed.

Johnny Carson is a comedian who is seen every night in millions of bedrooms all over America...and that's why his last wife left him.

It's good to do stand-up. It kind of wakes you up and makes you feel like you're doing something. You got the crowd right there. That's all fun.

Fame is also a test of character at times... Sometimes I pass the test; sometimes I'm a pain in the ass. Sometimes I'm like, Oh, God! I just want to buy some tampons!

It makes me sad when I see artists who come alive when they go onstage, because, gee, I really come alive when I'm home.

I'm in awe of comedians that do things that I can't do, whether it be a one-liner comic like Anthony Jeselnik, whether it be social issues commentary, whether it be - hell, Carrot Top. I can't be Carrot Top. I can't.

Now what's important is that they have an attitude. Everybody has a look, but not everybody has cultivated what their stage persona is. And so when you're dealing with actors, it just makes it more difficult, because you have to help them come up with one. You know, Johnny Depp has no Johnny Depp character when he's onstage. You haven't seen An Evening With Johnny Depp at Carnegie Hall.

Later, when I was at Caesar's Palace, and [Joe and Gil Cates] were trying to get me to have opening acts for the show, they gave me a list of people, and Rosie O'Donnell was one of them. I said, "I don't really need any opening acts. I have funny stuff in the show, and I do a lot of comedy and stuff."

If I stay at home, I'm not famous. I'm only famous when I'm out in the streets, so I don't go out on the streets much.