Robin Williams Quotes

I don't know who's worse with little boys, Mario or Michael Jackson.

The theme of the party was Neverland Ranch, so guests were asked to come as anyone or anything associated with Michael Jackson. It was all very disturbing.

Schwarzenegger said last night on the show he expects his opponents to throw all kinds of dirt at him. And you know, it's started already. Today, they released the one thing that could really hurt Arnold. Turns out he once starred in a movie with Tom Arnold.

Let me tell you something, last night in the debate, during one of the breaks, two of the breaks, Donald Trump went backstage... He asked for a full length mirror. I don't know why because the podium goes up to here. He wanted a full length mirror. Maybe to make sure his pants weren't wet. I don't know.

Certain it is that scandal is good brisk talk, whereas praise of one's neighbor is by no means lively hearing. An acquaintance grilled, scored, devilled, and served with mustard and cayenne pepper excites the appetite; whereas a slice of cold friend with currant jelly is but a sickly, unrelishing meat.

I lost the love of all the homosexuals in the world by saying that Princess Diana was trash and got what she deserved. She could have been Queen of England - and she was swanning about Paris with Arabs. What disgraceful behavior. Going about saying she wanted to be the queen of hearts. The vulgarity of it is so overpowering.

Rudy Giuliani needed to feel safe because he turned his life into a public mess. A public mess that the "New York Tabloids" covered daily.

During last night's Republican debate, Mike Huckabee got a big laugh when he said that Congress has been spending money like John Edwards at a beauty salon. Then Huckabee got an even bigger laugh when he said he's running for president

Newly released transcripts reveal that President Nixon was drunk during the Arab-Israeli crisis of 1973. After hearing this, President Bush said, 'Hey, so was I!'

Bill Clinton described himself as he's "the big dog." He's out hunting, and he found something. Some woman was emitting some, you know, come-to-me smell or whatever, and he was picking up on the scent.

Hillary [Clinton] has a resume. What is the story in Hillary's resume? Four dead in Benghazi, illegal emails, trafficking in classified information. The media hasn't gone there on that yet because when covering that aspect of Hillary minus [Donald] Trump, the story is the same.

No one goes to BrooklynVegan to read about content, they just go for drama. It's a tabloid, the scum of indie.

The American people are sick and tired of hearing about your [Hillary Clinton] damn e-mails!

I guess we cut Michelle Obama's garden. You hear about that? The Democrats are distressed.

Michael Jackson has an anti-Semitic streak, and hasn't learned from his past mistakes. It seems every time he has a problem in his life, he blames it on Jews.

Michael Jackson is one of the most normal people I know.

Elvis and I call up Cadillac dealerships all night long, suckin' down Ny Quil stingers and cheese. He says, what the hell's Lisa Marie thinking with that Michael Jackson crap?

People will look at Bowyer and Woodgate and say 'Well, there's no mud without flames'.

In the case of Tori Spelling, there were two apology emails.

Yesterday in Florida, President Obama kissed a woman on the cheek after she told him he looks good. Which explains why last night, Michelle made him sleep on Air Mattress One.

Rolling Stone hates me. They must have an editorial policy to do me in for many years.

I probably owe an apology to fans that have been supportive and have not wanted to believe any of this was true. It takes a little bit of the sheen off of the mystique.

Jesse Jackson was spending time with his family, or families.

Hillary Clinton has finished writing her book where she says her marriage couldn't be stronger, and Bill just finished his book titled 'Chicks I Nailed While Hillary was Writing Her Book.'

Bill Clinton was punished for his behavior.