Christopher Voss Quotes

You cannot just dictate at negotiations. You must also listen.

Negotiation is empathy. It's almost trite to say that if you can't put yourself in the seat of the other person you're speaking with, you're not going to do well. It's not about being a bully, not about making offers people can't refuse.

I'd like to add that negotiating is not something to be avoided or feared - it's an everyday part of life.

So much of life is a negotiation - so even if you're not in business, you have opportunities to practice all around you.

During a negotiation, it would be wise not to take anything personally. If you leave personalities out of it, you will be able to see opportunities more objectively.

My stay-married secret would probably be exercising good communication, not when you have to but all the time. I think if you do that, you kinda just cleanse the situations, so there's not build up. I think that's probably the best way to do it.

It's learning how to negotiate to keep both sides happy - whether it's for a multi-million dollar contract or just which show to watch on TV, that determines the quality and enjoyment of our lives.

I simply do not think that yelling, swearing, threatening or belittling will get you to the place you want to be faster than kindness, understanding, patience and a little willingness to compromise.

What will support any relationship is clear, complete and conscious conversations when upsets or breakdowns occur.

Negotiators run the risk of achieving agreement and then having to take yes for an answer when they are emotionally accustomed to confrontation.

Negotiation is not trading. Negotiation is creating new and original solutions.

If I had a row with my husband, it's not going to work my saying, 'Right, if you don't do what I want, I'm going to walk out.' It doesn't work on any level. What you do is you go in and you say, 'I have a problem. You have a problem. Let's try and sort this out together.' You don't come to an agreement with people who you're falling out with badly.

When you expect to get into a negotiation, you expect to be faced by a guy that's going to attack you, a guy or gal that's going to attack or that they're going to try to get the best of you. Two-thirds of us, that makes us very defensive.

I feel like anything can be worked out; you just gotta talk through it as adults.

Great negotiations happen when people are relaxed, so a relaxing environment is important. A high-energy environment tenses people up. It closes them up. You're not as likely to get that concession.

You need to be able to agree from time to time if we're going to get anywhere. Once you have started a civil dialogue, it's a much smoother road to compromise. The key thing to remember is it's a daily practice.

Solutions must be based on compromises.

I'd rather laugh - not fuss and fight. You can articulate your point without arguing. When you're arguing constantly, you just need to say, 'You're real cool, but you're not for me.'

My job is to come up with something that you like and you agree with that you would play wholeheartedly. If we disagree, I may not be doing my job correctly.

Compromise, contrary to popular opinion, does not mean selling out one's principles. Compromise means working out differences to forge a solution which fits the diversity of the body politic.

Avoid sarcasm. Don't insist on the last word.

The first principle of contract negotiations is don't remind them of what you did in the past - tell them what you're going to do in the future.

Why are we talking about talking? Why negotiating about negotiating? It's very simple. If you want to get to peace, put all your preconditions on the side, sit down opposite a table, not in a studio, by the way.

I do believe that in order to be a successful negotiator that as a diplomat, you have to be able to put yourself into the other person's shoes. Unless you can understand what is motivating them, you are never going to be able to figure out how to solve a particular problem.

I'd rather lose an argument than get into a long discussion in order to win it.