David Nicholls Quotes

One night I was driving and so infatuated with dipping French fries into my milk shake that I drove right through a stop sign. The cop who pulled me over had no mercy.

People do really stupid things while driving.

I can't see. I used to wear glasses off stage. Now I'm thinking of getting a pair of contract lenses.

I was a really bad taxi driver. I only collided twice but it was one time too much.

In Japan, there are storm channels on either side of the main roads. There were so many times when I'd fall into these ditches because I was lost in stories as I was walking along. It's still dangerous for me to drive. I've driven into the gate outside my house numerous times.

I'm actually not a very good driver, to be honest with you. I'm a scatterbrain driver. I'm not very focused. I'm always trying to find the right music station or put on a new CD or trying to eat something.

In California, the lines on the road are just a suggestion. They're in the left lane with the left indicator on, so naturally it's time to turn right! Are you kidding me? In your Prius? I know, you're saving the Earth by trying to kill the people!

My peripheral vision has been severely limited because of my diabetes, which means I can see just fine looking straight ahead. But if I am at a function with lots of people, I am constantly bumping into people - even kicking them!

Because I am a horrible flincher, contact lenses are not an option. I'm always envious of contact-wearers. There are endless reasons to take off one's glasses during the day and, as I have grown older, what I don't see has become increasingly pronounced.

Even when they're not causing injury, human-controlled cars are often driven inefficiently, ineptly, antisocially, or in other ways additive to the sum of human misery.

But I'll tell you what I'm really bad at: I don't concentrate on what I'm doing, so I constantly lose things. I put my purse in the fridge - I'm one of those people.

I used to be really fat, but now I'm not. I used to have hair, but now I don't. I used to be able to see without corrective lenses, but now I can't. One of these this is exacerbated by the fact that I'm an editor. One of these things is true despite the fact that I'm an editor. One of them has nothing to do with me being an editor.

I was the only kid who anybody I knew has ever seen actually walk into a lamppost with his eyes wide open. Everybody assumed that there must be something going on inside, because there sure as hell wasn't anything going on the outside!

I am a pretty bad driver, so when I drive, I need to be calm. I can't be vibing to DMX, all hype, in the car.

I've been in 30 car crashes, none of 'em my fault, I swear on a stack of midgets... OK, they were probably all my fault.

I've wrecked a lot of good cars in my day.

The idea of MPs texting and emailing through debates makes my gorge rise, as it does when a minicab driver makes phone calls at the wheel. I'm not paying you to keep in touch with your mates!

I felt dumb and subdued. Every time I tried to concentrate, my mind glided off, like a skater, into a large empty space, and pirouetted there, absently.

I once found myself driving, smoking a cigar, taking notes, and talking on the phone at the same time. I only became completely aware of this when I had to shift, and realized something had to give.

She'd be one of those parents who left a kid behind at a rest stop, driving for miles before she noticed. We'd hear about her on the evening news.

Take it easy driving– the life you save may be mine.

It was dark and raining, with bad visibility, but this was Jersey, and we don't slow down for anything.

Among the blind the one-eyed blinkard reigns

I am shortsighted. I need glasses for watching movies or concerts. It's not a hipster affectation; I do have poor eyesight. This is how ridiculous my life is: I've had the test for contact lenses, but I haven't found a half-day where I can go to the optician.