Andrew Shaffer Quotes

The holidays are only overwhelming because it's crunch time. It's like everyone trying to get last-minute things in before the New Year starts.

It's a great time of the year... if you can stand it.

I look forward to the holiday season every year.

I love the excess of Christmas. The shopping season that begins in September, the bad pop star recordings of Christmas carols, the decorations that don't know when to come down.

The holidays stress people out so much. I suggest you keep it simple and try to have as much fun as you can.

Certainly, nothing would stop me coming home for Christmas, if I can. But I've worked a lot in theatre, and in theatre in New York, we work Christmas Day a lot of the time as well.

I feel like I'm always performing in Vegas around Christmastime.

My favourite time of year is two weeks before Christmas when everybody's up for it - you're having lunches with people, drinking Cosmopolitans, and getting ready for something exciting!

It's not exactly calm at Christmas. It's a bit like the Simpsons appearing in a pasta advert - lots of bickering, crazy pets, and plenty of tomato sauce!

My December is typically one big, sweaty 'wintry mix' blur, not a punch-laden, heartwarming mixer.

Christmas seems to start earlier and earlier every year. Like, this time, it's on December 25th.

Once again we find ourselves enmeshed in the Holiday Season, that very special time of year when we join with our loved ones in sharing centuries-old traditions such as trying to find a parking space at the mall. We traditionally do this in my family by driving around the parking lot until we see a shopper emerge from the mall, then we follow her, in very much the same spirit as the Three Wise Men, who 2,000 years ago followed a star, week after week, until it led them to a parking space.

Let me tell you something. As we were walking around in the store, Marilyn and I were just really impressed by all the novelties and the different types of little things that you could get for Christmas. And all the people that would help you, they were dressed up in things that said 'I believe in Santa Claus.' And the only thing that I could think is that I believe in George Bush.

Eve engaged her On Duty sign and stepped out of the car. Immediately her ears were assaulted with a blast of music. Christmas carols pumped, full blast, into the air. She decided that people ran inside, ready to buy anything, just to escape the noise.

Christmas shopping! I can do all my Christmas shopping here! I know March is a bit early, but why not be organized? And then when Christmas arrives I won't have to go near the horrible Christmas crowds.

The Christmas tree, twinkling with lights, had a mountain of gifts piled up beneath it, like offerings to the great god of excess.

We should try to hold on to the Christmas spirit, not just one day a year, but all 365.

The ideal Christmas gift is money, but the trouble is you can't charge it.

... Once you're safely in the mall, you should tie your children to you with ropes so the other shoppers won't try to buy them. Holiday shoppers have been whipped into a frenzy by months of holiday advertisements, and they will buy anything small enough to stuff into a shopping bag. If your children object to being tied, threaten to take them to see Santa Claus; that ought to shut them up.

Its Christmas Eve! Its the one night of the year when we all act a little nicer, we smile a little easier, we cheer a little more. For a couple of hours out of the whole year, we are the people that we always hoped we would be.

There are 17 more shopping days until Christmas. So, guys, that means 16 more days till we start shopping, right?

This, after all, was the month in which families began tightening and closing and sealing; from Thanksgiving to the New Year, everybody's world contracted, day by day, into the microcosmic single festive household, each with its own rituals and obsessions, rules and dreams. You didn't feel you could call people. They didn't feel they could phone you. How does one cry for help from these seasonal prisons?

The real Santa Claus is at the mall.

I heard the bells on Christmas Day Their old, familiar carols play, And wild and sweet The words repeat Of peace on earth, good-will to men!