Joan Rivers Quotes

That baby is so ugly... I've never seen a six-month-old so desperately in need of a wax.

Mothers can get weaned as well as babies.

~I got pregnant, and I was like, 'Oh God, it worked! Oh no!' Chris [Ivery, her husband] and I were super happy, then I got terrified! Will I know how to do everything right? Of course, nobody does everything right, but as long as your baby is the priority, that's the best you can do.~

Babies change things, open doors you thought were shut, close others. Make you into something you never been.

Sophia Loren, whose new baby asked her, Is all that for me? Never got a dinner!

Having babies is a blessing, not a duty.

I've been doing things myself in the sense that I haven't had a night nurse or anything like that, so I've spent every night with baby except for the nights that I've had to travel.

I'm hooked on my baby's love, there ain't nothing in the jug this strong.

Now I've heard the phrase 'there's no such thing as an ugly baby' but that is an ugly baby!

I think the best thing somebody ever did to me was my mother opening her legs and squirting me out.

I've always felt there are two things a woman should never do after the age of thirty-five: stand in natural light and have a baby.

You have nothing in this world more precious than your children. When you grow old, when your hair turns white and your body grows weary, when you are prone to sit in a rocker and meditate on the things of your life, nothing will be so important as the question of how your children have turned out... Do not trade your birthright as a mother for some bauble of passing value... The baby you hold in your arms will grow as quickly as the sunrise and the sunset of the rushing days.

Getting pregnant and caring for a baby gave me a confidence I'd never had before. I really felt I'd done something well, and I can't say that about anything else in my life. I've never watched a movie I've appeared in and thought, wow, I was great. I always think, oh, I could have done this better.

In addition to that, having the items I needed to foster the breastfeeding process and give me an opportunity to bond with my baby in this way was something that I felt was so important in my life and my experience as a first-time mom. I love that I am able to play a role in giving that joy and support to the moms we will be helping.

Having a baby is like suddenly getting the world's worst roommate.

Having a baby is like suddenly getting the world's worst roommate, like having Janis Joplin with a bad hangover and PMS come to stay with you.

The realities of getting up in the morning with two children and being covered in spit-up and totally filthy make me excited to imagine clothes that aren't made for baby puke. Dressing nicely is a dream now.

A mother's body remembers her babies-the folds of soft flesh, the softly furred scalp against her nose. Each child has it's own entreaties to body and soul.

The bond between mother and baby is so interesting. Women have been giving birth since the beginning of time, but when it happens to you it feels like a miracle.

Though with Bridget Jones's Baby: the Diaries, I'd like to make it clear that I did not ever get pregnant by two men.

My main focus is on becoming a new mom and giving the best of myself to my husband and growing baby.

I know it's hard being a single mother baby, he said, but we're talking fundamentals here. Homemade cookies are one of the best parts of christmas. It's an absolute fundamental.

The joy in motherhood comes in moments. There will be hard times and frustrating times, but amid the challenges there are shining moments of joy and satisfaction.

What instruction the baby brings to the mother!