W. C. Fields Quotes

On the whole, I'd rather be in Philidelphia.

The mind is a machine that is constantly asking: What would I prefer? Close your eyes, refuse to move, and watch what your mind does. What it does is become discontent with that-which-is. A desire arises, you satisfy that desire, and another arises in its place.

I would rather be living in Philadelphia.

I'll stay in Memphis.

I've said many, many, many unkind things about Philadelphia, and I meant every one.

I'd like to see Paris before I die... Philadelphia will do.

I don't like bananas. I like to drive that point home.

I would rather be in San Francisco than just about anywhere on Earth.

The game In England could be suitable for me but I like Italy.

I like it in Seattle.

Oliver: You turned me down. So why, I wonder, did you decide Amelie would be a better choice? Claire: She smells better. And she made me cookies.

As good as Miami is, we'd rather go to Miami.

Either offer me something I really like, or stop trying to tempt me.

All get what they want; they do not always like it.

You take romance - I'll take Jell-O.

"I hope to-morrow will be a fine day, Lane." "It never is, sir." "Lane, you're a perfect pessimist." "I do my best to give satisfaction, sir."

You ought to be ironical the minute you get out of bed. You ought to wake up with your mouth full of pity.

If I had my druthers, I would do a lot more.

The perfect woman has an IQ of 150, wants to make love until 4 in the morning, then turns into a pizza!

Motivation describes your attitude when you would rather do one thing more than another at a particular time.

If I could have dinner with anyone who lived in history, it would depend on the restaurant.

Most of the time, I'm working in places I'm not familiar with. Sometimes it's Slovakia, and sometimes it's Hawaii. Not to bash on Slovakia, but I really did enjoy Hawaii.

Choice means giving up something you want for something else you want more.

Edmonton is not the end of the world but you can certainly see it from there.

I do not always know what I want, but I do know what I don't want.