Mark Twain Quotes

If I'm going to Hell, I'm going there playing the piano.

If you want to enter hell, don't complain of the dark; you can't blame the world for being unfair if you start on the path of the rebel.

I often remembered also that I had been told, that we shall have as many devils biting us, if we go to hell, as we have unconfessed sins on our consciences.

When I go to hell, I mean to carry a bribe: for look you, good gifts evermore make way for the worst persons.

Come to your sense, madmen. Cease your bloody violence, for what you are doing is not only cruel, it is indeed satanic, and for it you will be subject to the fires of hell in the life to come beyond the grave, and to a terrible curse from posterity in this earthly life.

If I do not return to the pulpit this weekend, millions of people will go to hell.

Hell isn't merely paved with good intentions; it's walled and roofed with them. Yes, and furnished too.

I believe the Scriptures teach that there's a literal heaven and a literal hell, just like Jesus said. And without forgiveness of sins that, yeah, the place of punishment is called hell.

Sailors ought never to go to church. They ought to go to hell, where it is much more comfortable.

Well actually I don't think it's a bunch of bad things that send us to hell. I think it is rejection of God's grace.

Woe to those who die in mortal sin!

Always remember this. Television, fame, money - listen, here is a news flash for America. Fame cannot remove your sin. And all of the money you ever amass cannot raise you from the dead.

'Tis not where we lie, but whence we fell; the loss of heaven's the greatest pain in hell.

But who prays for Satan? Who, in eighteen centuries, has had the common humanity to pray for the one sinner that needed it most?

Good girls go to heaven, bad girls go everywhere.

The wages of sin are death, but by the time taxes are taken out, it's just sort of a tired feeling.

No one was ever scolded out of their sins.

Die, v.: To stop sinning suddenly.

If I believed in Hell, I'd definitely be going there.

I announce to you that your life is near its end; that if you obey not my words, you will go to hell, and this letter will be brought up against you before the judgment-seat of God, and leave you no way of escape.

And now without redemption all mankind Must have been lost, adjudged to death and hell By doom severe.

I do think that a minister who can preach a sermon without addressing sinners does not know how to preach.

I think God's wrath and purgatory are the only things keeping me on the straight and narrow. I like the idea of purgatory. It's like a cosmic do-over.

Hell is of this world and there are men who are unhappy escapees from hell, escapees destined ETERNALLY to reenact their escape.

I believe God gives people the right to say no, to resist, to refuse, to reject, to cling to their sins, to cling to their version of their story.