Sarah Dessen Quotes

If I had bodily functions, I think I would have peed my pants.

Let's make some funny pictures.

The best shows to tweet about are the ones that are hilarious, but they might not necessarily be trying to be hilarious. Those are the easiest and the funniest because you're like 'come onnnn.'

I was a little shocked at how adult some of the humor was, because I was never that into animation before and when I watched 'Shrek' I really laughed out loud.

I'm very self-conscious having my picture taken, so I clown around. My driver's license photo looks like a blonde Elvis.

I think it's always funny when somebody thinks you're going to do something super sexy and then you don't.

I don't think you would want to see all five Go-Go's naked - I think we would be scary.

People come up to me in airports, they walk into the office, and they say, 'I'm going to cry; I'm going to pass out.' And I say, 'Please don't pass out; I'm not a doctor.'

Panic is a natural human response to danger, but it's one that severely compounds the risk.

Fear is what makes comedy funny.

Life is as horrifyingly frightening as it is hilarious.

Terror works by surprise.

I've always felt that there's a lot of similarity between doing a comedy and doing a scary movie because jokes and scares are all about timing. If you give the punch line too early or too late, the joke falls flat. And it's the same with a scare.

I am a human, and I fear flops.

There is a relationship between humor and fear. Think of all the gags you ever heard that have to do with dismemberment, or something that's horrible in one way or another, even if it's just horrible in the sense that somebody's being embarrassed. What do kids laugh at? Kids laugh if your fly's down. That's hilarious. But for the kid whose fly is down, it's a horrible situation.

Fear arises sooner than anything else.

Please don't kill me!

My God, look at the size of this man! Quick! Tell the other villagers we're going back to the boats!

Someone sent me a picture of my name that was tattooed on their a***! The first thing I said was, the least you could have done was spell it properly!

The idea of surprise is part of what makes something funny, or what gets a reaction. At least when I'm an audience member, after you hear a joke so many times it's not as funny because it loses its surprise or its twist. So I think funny has to do with surprise.

Just in case you get any ideas, know that I’ll be sleeping with a can of Mace in one hand and pepper spray in the other.” - Katie Jorlan's expression turned mocking. “Just in case you get any ideas, know that I’ll be sleeping with a feather in one hand and massage oil in the other.

I didn’t know what I was supposed to say about that, so I just said, "Wow

Think books aren't scary? Well, think about this: You can't spell "Book" without "Boo!

His eyes widened just a bit, his lips flexed. I realized he was trying not to laugh. I hate it when people find my threats amusing.

She turns to us, acts surprised to see us, then does the bit with the back of the hand to the forehead. "You're lost!" "You're angry!" "You're in the wrong school!" "You're in the wrong country!" "You're on the wrong planet!