Conan O'Brien Quotes

What these books have conclusively proven is that the diffence between men and women is exactly 38 pages.

The truth of it is that women are far more logical than men.

I don't think that women necessarily always write like women. I was a writer on the 'Comedy Central Roasts' for a while, and I always wrote the jokes that people assumed the men would write.

Because if you say men and women are the same and if male behaviour is the norm, and women are always expected to act like men, we will never be as good at being men as men are.

Women are very different to men, and that hasn't been respected. So when people say there's never been a good woman painter or poet or engineer or whatever, they don't understand that our skills are many simultaneously and men's skills are single.

Men are superior to women, for one thing they can urinate from a speeding car.

Speaking very generally, I find that women are spiritually, emotionally, and often physically stronger than men.

While gossip among women is universally ridiculed as low and trivial, gossip among men, especially if it is about women, is called theory, or idea, or fact.

Men are just jealous because they can't wear makeup.

There are certain things women are better at than men.

I think there are profound differences between women and men. In intelligence and creativity, there is no difference, but in what one loves, what one likes, the passions - there are differences.

Over the years, the most ponderous problem for women has been that men think that men and women are very different. Another of our massive problems is that women also think that men and women are very different.

I think, on the whole, men are much more shallow than women.

I like my coffee like I like my women. In a plastic cup.

The main difference between men and women is that men are lunatics and women are idiots.

Women cannot complain about men until they start gettting better taste in them.

Men and women aren't the same. And they won't be the same. That doesn't mean that they can't be treated fairly.

Endless books claim that the brains of men and women are wired differently. They have titles such as 'Why Men Don't Iron' and set out to convince us that women are somehow biologically suited to getting the creases out of clothes while men peruse maps.

Women exist in my imagination. So they are necessarily a type of abstraction. Many women criticise me for this vision, but I explain to them it's to be expected, because I am a man.

Stupid as a man, say the women: cowardly as a woman, say the men. Stupidity in a woman is unwomanly.

I think I am really irreverent and I pretty much just talk to and about men the way men talk to and about women.

Men are rarely questioned on their spouses or their partners, and nor should they be. And the question to ask is why is this done to women?

On one issue at least, men and women agree; they both distrust women.

Men have been found to deny woman intellect; they have credited her with instinct, with intuition, with a capacity to correlate cause and effect much as a dog connects its collar with a walk.

Men have not stacked the decks against women.